Through It All- Episode III
by Yxtchel
Summary: Ryan sensed many eyes on him as he stepped up to the take out counter. A new face was always noticed around these parts and a six plus tall native man would be noticed even more. The attention was making him anxious and he rushed out with his food, almost running a little girl over in the process and found himself looking down into the prettiest set of grey eyes he'd ever seen.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is the 3rd story in the After the Rain universe. I would humbly urge you begin with Seasons of Change to avoid major confusion. Let it not be said flattery has no persuasion for I was determined not to post anything for this story till later down the line. This was inspired by Maxsmomma and Lory 77's request for just a bit more. Hope this quenches your thirst**

 **Prologue**

The young apprentice prowled forth, stepping carefully over the fallen leaves. She'd been at it for what seemed as forever in her five-year-old mind but was steadfast in her pursuit. The temperature was dropping with the dwindling light and it was only a matter of time before her mother stepped outside, halting the hunt. A twig snapped ahead, and she stilled in anticipation. Her bright eyes scanning the surrounding forest for clues. Her prey was crafty, and the little girl knew she needed to be even more so to find success. The sound of her front door snapping open incited a frustrated sigh, knowing she'd run out of time.

"Akeimi, it's time to come inside now baby. It's getting too cold for you to be out here"

A long black tail uncurled from the branch ahead and the little girl huffed in anger.

"No fair Auntie Jade…we said NO TWEES. I can't climb that high"

The feline leaped down, making her way behind the shrub to phase back human.

"If you want to hang out with the big kids then you need to do as the big kids do, squirt. Learn how to climb... All is fair in a hunt, I say"

Shye looked towards the feline in exasperation, wrapping her long cardigan over her swollen belly.

"Don't encourage her Jade. it's bad enough with Lahote and Koli egging her on"

The feline smiled widely, winking at her young protégé as they made their way into the house. Jade had never held much patience for children but Akeimi had carved her way into her heart much like her blue-eyed wolf. Maybe it was her fearless spirit or curious nature which appealed to her. The feline didn't know, but she'd grown rather attached to the five-year-old girl. And the feeling was mutual… Akeimi admired all the she-wolves in the pack but her Auntie Jade was a bad ass. At least that's what her uncle Koli had said.

The young protégé caught her father's eyes, running into his awaiting arms.

"I almost caught her daddy, but she cheated. I need to learn to climb higher"

Lahote answered with a doting smile as he gazed upon his little girl. There'd been a time when the young wolf had desired nothing more than to rise in the ranks of the pack, balking at his father's words regarding his priorities. But had since grown wise. This was what life was about…the love of a good woman… the inexplicable bond between parent and child, and the warmth of home.

"Then I guess we're gonna have to work on that aren't we? Can't let her beat you again, peanut"

His wife's tired sigh alerted him words would be shared at a later time, but his baby girl's answering smile made it all worthwhile. Solace approached, pulling her from his arms and throwing her over his broad shoulder. Akeimi laughed hysterically as he attacked her with his famous raspberries. She was the baby of the family and they dotted on her every move. From the powerful and fierce Jacob Black to Maya, their second youngest; she had them wrapped around her little fingers and it was causing his wife growing concern.

They were gathered at his home, awaiting the guest of honor. One of their most seasoned wolves was celebrating a birthday today and Akeimi had worked tirelessly with her Auntie Keyla's help to make the best cake ever for her Pa. As an infant, she had struggled with the full pronunciation of his name and Paul saw no reason to correct her; secretly loving the term of endearment. The purring of an engine brought Lahote back from his thoughts and he swiftly made his way towards his driveway, pleased his twin had decided to join in the festivities.

Lahote pulled his brother into a hug, and the hungover wolf welcomed the sentiment. His metabolism was still burning off the booze and drugs, but he'd showered and was clean-shaven for the pack gathering. Lahote nodded towards the new ink added to the array of tats covering his twin's left arm and Hawk replied with a small smile.

"Got it two days ago"

They walked up the driveway side by side and Isis awaited her son by the door, wasting no time in pulling him into a fierce embrace. Hawk hated the stench of worry seeping out of his mother's smaller frame, holding her tenderly close. She grabbed his face between her hands, holding his apologetic gaze.

"I'm glad you're here baby"

"You guys are acting like you haven't seen me in months. This is supposed to be a party…we should be celebrating. Where's the man of the hour?" he questioned, hoping to divert the attention elsewhere. Solace nodded to him in greeting, still hurting over their last argument but released the squirming child from his grasp as she tried to make her way towards her most favorite uncle in the world. Hawk loved his twin fiercely; would always love and protect what was most dear to him and his child held great prominence in his life. Except Akeimi also inspired him to be better than what he'd become; especially when she looked at him with those trustful grey eyes of hers.

She wrapped her small hands around his neck and Hawk leaned into her touch, burying his nose in the crook of her neck and allowing her scent to ease some of his burden. He spent the next half hour in her room, listening rapturously as she spoke about her first two weeks of kindergarten. She had drawn a picture of his wolf near her school, because she knew he was patrolling near, making sure they were all safe even when she couldn't see him. Her words cut him deep and he pulled her close, taking out their most favorite book. They lay in the comfort of her bed, as they awaited the birthday boy's arrival; his words repeating a story she knew by heart but that was OK, because it always sounded better when he read it.

* * *

This was a dangerous waste of his time…His parole hearing was scheduled in a couple of days and Ryan knew the foolishness of taking such unnecessary risks. But this asshole had it coming, and he'd been itching for physical release. Ryan had been burning some serious hours in the yard; running… jumping rope…sparring with the punching bag, but it just wasn't enough. Gabriel stood in his corner greedily, collecting bets from the fools stupid enough to wager against him. And though he'd never been one for gambling, knew the extra commissary would come in handy. He was just another inmate in the system, but once upon a time, Ryan had been a contender with big dreams. Arrogance had never plagued his character, but he hadn't won junior amateur boxer of the Pacific Northwest without skill. And Gabriel loved the street cred it provided them both.

There weren't any formal weight classes in the pen and his opponent was a beast. But Ryan felt like a monster himself and knew that this would go in his favor. Rowdy men encircled them and if the crooked guards weren't invested in the match, this wouldn't even be taking place. Ryan stepped forward with a jab, astutely measuring his reach. His opponent was all brawn and no skill but caught him with a powerful cross. He feinted forward, and his challenger lunged, allowing Ryan to release a vicious left hook to the side, staggering him back. He went to the body, trying to avoid causing serious harm but TJ caught him with a low blow and Ryan faded back to regroup angrily.

 _Fine…he wanted to play? They could play…_

It was easier than he'd anticipated, and nowhere as satisfying as he'd imagined it would be when TJ's head hit the canvass. Gabriel was eagerly collecting their winnings, but Ryan just wanted the solitude of his cell. There was an unsettling mass of something brewing at the pit of his stomach and he wondered if it was the start of a panic attack. It'd been years since his last episode and he barely made it to the urinal; emptying the contents of his earlier meal. His head spun as he crawled to his bed, rolling over in time to pass out from the stupor. Ryan remained in solitude the next couple of days, choosing to leave his cell only when forced as the day of his parole hearing neared.

He'd awoken with a knot in his throat. Her gentle face was the last thing he'd seen before awakening to his reality. Ryan hadn't much faith left, but as he waited to be interviewed by the Parole Committee, knew it was more than luck on his side. His alleged victim failed to show, and he'd caught the various letters of support on the committee's desk. Maddie…

He would need to wait for the authorized document but had unofficially been granted an early release. And he chose to keep the news to himself, apart from Gabriel. Fearful of drawing backlash from other inmate until the morning of his release.

"You're up Lakoda. Let's go… get your ass moving".

The words were music to his ears and Ryan grabbed the book underneath his pillow, stuffing it in his back-jean pocket. The sound of clattering cups against the cells echoed through the wretched cellblock he'd called home the last three years of his life. He glanced to the right towards Gabriel's cell, meeting his gaze as he leaned against the bars. A fast smirk in place, as he nodded to him when he walked past.

"See you on the other side brother".

Ryan said nothing, thought of nothing except focusing on the bright light ahead. His hands trembled in anticipation.

 _Almost there Lakoda…_

He'd entered this hellhole at the age of seventeen; still a minor by law but the prosecutor had fought to try him as an adult. And the stacked book which was his juvenile record had convinced the judge. So, there he was at the age of twenty, making his way out of the Olympic Correction Center with his worldly possessions consisting of an old book, a worn picture, the clothes on his back, bus fare and the $50 he'd been allowed to keep from his meager earnings.

The last buzzer sounded as the guard opened the gate and Ryan tasted the fresh air on his tongue. Thought the sun had never felt so good on his skin as he stepped into the light. It'd been a long time since Ryan had shed a tear and if he could remember how, would've wept in happiness. He picked up his pace; wanting to place as much distance between himself and the cage he'd endured. He had a couple of hours to burn before checking in at the Half-Way house on the res and headed towards the nearest diner to grab some much-desired nourishment.

His appetite had been insatiable these last couple of weeks and if he didn't slow down, would need to invest in clothes soon. The amount of muscle gained these last weeks had been crazy and Ryan resented he couldn't allow himself happiness over it. His new appearance only made his resemblance to him more pronounced and it was harder and harder to look at himself in the mirror without self-loathing. He forwent the option of public transportation for the solitude of a long walk in hopes of centering himself before joining the rest of society.

The nearing sound of wheels turning on the asphalt caught his attention, but Ryan didn't need to wait long to know the source of its origin.

"Where you headed Lakoda? Bust stop's the other way"

Ryan ignored the question continuing to walk, focusing on the trajectory ahead.

 _Of course, he'd know of his release._

"I'm talking to you boy. STOP…"

Ryan had been on the other side of the law enough times to recognize the difference between a request and a lawful order and was not about to give this asshole any reason to ship his ass back to the joint. He released a long sigh, turning to face Officer James T. Moletti in silence. Clear hate in those cold eyes of his as Ryan waited for him to speak.

"You may have fooled them Lakoda but you don't fool me…I know what you are and I'm going to be watching. Just waiting for you to screw up and when it happens; even that old bat won't be able to help you then"

Ryan felt a burning traveling up his body and was using all his control to keep himself in place. It would be so easy to have his way with him now, but Maddie wouldn't want that, and neither would've she. The thought cut him deep… he'd already failed her so much and he'd promised it would be different this time. The police cruiser drove past, and he released a long breath, realizing walking a straight line would be harder than he'd imagined. He continued into town, surprised much in the area had not changed since his incarceration.

The local drunks still hung out at Jake's and people still bustled in an out of the Diner. Ryan sensed many sets of eyes following him in as he stepped up to the take-out counter. A new face was always noticed around these parts and a six plus tall native man looking straight out of Flex magazine would be noticed even more so. The attention was making him anxious and he rushed out the exit with his food, almost running a little girl over who was hopping her way up the stairs.

"Oh man, are you ok? I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there"

 _Shit…_

The last thing he needed was to injure a kid with Moletti on his back as panic struk him.

"It's OK, she's fine. Akeimi has a habit of not paying attention. Don't you Keimi?"

The little girl smiled widely, proudly displaying her two missing bottom teeth and Ryan found himself looking down into the prettiest set of grey eyes he'd ever seen.

"You tall. You almost as tall as my daddy"

"Akeimi, what have I told you about running out of the car like that?"

"Sowy nana… I just wanted to get our most favowite seats before anyone else"

Ryan looked up to see a striking brunette. Her features changing into one of shock as she openly gawked at him. He stood awkward and unsure, wanting to get the hell out of there before anything else went wrong but felt a need to make sure all was good with the kid before taking off.

"I'm sorry… I promise I don't usually stare at people this way, but you look very familiar. I'm Isis… Isis Tso-Black and this little munchkin is Akeimi"

She extended her hand in greeting and Ryan felt obligated to return the gesture.

"It's no big deal. It's nice to meet you both. I'm Ryan," he mumbled out, smiling at the little girl as she extended her hand as well.

"I'm sorry again for not paying attention but I really do need to get going before I'm late"

It wasn't a total lie. He did need to get moving if he was going to make it to the half-way house in time. But had a more pressing reason for leaving. There was someone else he needed to visit first, and she came before all. Ryan hurried down the dirt paved road, completely missing the look of worry on the beautiful woman's face as she allowed the exuberant child to lead her up the Diner's stairs.

He'd walked this path countless of times, but repetition didn't make it any easier. He made his way towards the large fig tree, noticing her headstone was one of most well-kept around. Ryan felt a tightening in his throat, it was one more thing he owed Maddie for. The beautiful white lilies were fitting, and the young man took a seat before her, tracing the letters of her name reverently.

"Hi momma, I'm sorry I haven't come visit. I've been a little busy, but you already know that. I'm gonna do better this time momma. I promise…"

His words were but a whisper, erroneously thinking he'd forgotten how to cry. The pain piercing him now was debilitating… It'd been years since he last shed a tear but as he gazed upon his mother's grave, Ryan Lakoda sobbed unabashedly.

* * *

"Solace, he needs to know. It's his right and it should be you who tells him"

"What am I supposed to say to him? We don't even know where this kid lives and we can't exactly prove it without him knowing can we?"

"What is there to prove? He looks exactly like him and he's going to phase any day now. Is that how you want him to find out? We need to at least prepare Cheveyo and Ethan for what could happen"

Solace didn't want to believe this. Knew that if his wife's suspicions were accurate, the truth of it would crush his friend and mentor to the core. And nodded solemnly as he prepared to dial the Alpha's phone number in preparation of what would soon ensue.

 **Playlist**

Sparks-Coldplay

Prepárame la Cena- Calle 13

Oh Sailor- Mr. Little Jeans


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here's the first chapter for Through It All. I will share this story has a darker feel then the previous two. Will try to update in between Seasons of Change but can make no promises on the frequency.**

 **M rating for adult content and language.**

 **Chapter 1**

Madeline Ross turned the Open for Business sign tiredly, readying to lock up for the night. Her afternoon checkout girl had called out sick and the aging woman was eager to put her swollen feet up on her comfortable recliner with a warm cup of tea by her side. The jingling of her door chime stopped her mid stride and she turned to meet a set of chilly green eyes.

"I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd stop by and say hello"

"We're closed"

Her voice strained with animosity and Officer James T. Moletti smiled wryly, continuing unperturbed.

"I'm surprised your boy hasn't shown his face yet…I mean it's the least he could do after all your troubles"

Maddie was a God-fearing woman, described as a kind soul by most, but the man before her truly tested the limits of her kindness and tolerance. Her eyes narrowed in distaste and was enormously relieved when her husband pushed past the stony-hearted man at her door.

"What's the matter Moletti, can't you read? The sign says we're closed"

Lou Ross came to stand by his wife's side, his muscles twitching with tension. Moletti's smile widened mockingly and he chose to leave the older couple with a foreboding warning.

"It's only a matter of time and when the day comes, there won't be a dam thing either of you will be able to do to help him"

"Stay away from Ryan…he's a good boy"

Maddie took a step forward and the officer hesitated in his steps.

"Is that a threat old woman?"

Her husband placed a restraining hand on her shoulder as he pulled his wife behind him.

"No, but this is…I know my rights Moletti. You have no business here and yet here you stand, in my property. Don't test me…all I gotta do is file a formal complaint of harassment and your ass will be shit deep in paperwork. Now you leave that boy alone…you've caused him enough damage"

"Tiiiime is on my side…yes, it is" he sang out. The clicking of his lighter timed with the old Rolling Stone's tune as he exited the popular Organic Food Store in Forks. Lou hugged his wife close, a gesture of comfort and restrain. He hadn't seen the boy in over three years and even though his hurt and anger were great, knew a day had not passed without him crossing through his thoughts. Remembering only made him angrier and the older man released his wife to set the alarm in his home.

"What a waste" he whispered, shaking his head in frustration. It was the same three words his wife had repeatedly heard these last three years. Madeline Ross took her husband by the hand, leading him up the stairs to their home. The constant worrying over Ryan's safety had been hard for her. But she'd had the comfort of writing him and receiving his letters in return. Lou pretended not to care, but the look of relief when any of his letters arrived was hard to miss or the way he pretended not to listen when she read said letters aloud. That was his biggest problem…he cared too damn much and couldn't bring himself to admit it.

Ryan's room stood as the day he'd left their home; every trophy and medal proudly on display. From time to time, nostalgia compelled him into the room. Pictures of their many victories taunting him and forcing him down memory lane. Tonight was such a night…Moletti's visit opening up old wounds which had yet to fully heal. Maddie ambled in, wrapping an arm behind his back and he instinctively pulled her in to his side as they contemplated what once was.

 _A fucking waste of potential indeed…_

* * *

Paul smiled as he turned over his glitter enhanced birthday card. LOV U PA. She'd drawn him in his wolf form and herself as a pup next to him. Paul wasn't big on rug rats but if he'd ever been granted the opportunity, would've undoubtedly cloned his little peanut. Solace and Oliver were his; they felt his in every practical sense and by default so did their lot.

 _That would make her his what? Great something or other_

And the thought depressed him greatly.

 _Fuck, he was old_ …

Every original pack member had a family of his own with the exception of his beautiful late she-wolf. For a short amount of time, she'd been his as well and Paul couldn't help but feel submerged under the weight of missed opportunities.

This is why he hated birthdays…they always left him thinking about what could have been. Paul had only loved two women in his life and neither had chosen him in the end. But in all truth, the statement was only half true. His wolf spirit hadn't chosen them either which had kind of cemented the outcome of their time together.

 _Maybe it was time for him to retire…_

Unlike some of his pack mates, he didn't need to prolong the aging process by continuing to phase. Paul had been a wolf a long time and had grown rather accustomed to the life but was growing very tired.

A quiet knock on the door brought him out of his gloomy thoughts. Why'd' he bother to knock was beyond him but the older wolf still went through the motions of calling him in. Solace walked into the dimmed room, taking a seat across from him and nodded his head in greeting. Paul waited patiently, watching him take stock of his surroundings and pausing with a wide grin as he caught sight of the home made birthday card.

"She made me drive her to the art supply store for the right color of glitter you know?"

"That sounds about right…Girl's got you wrapped around her little finger"

"I could say the same about you" he countered looking towards his refrigerator where several of her drawings were proudly on display. Paul chuckled, raising his brow in question.

"So…to what do I owe this honor?"

"I need a reason to come see you old man?"

Another raised brow and Solace broke out in laughter, knowing he wasn't trailing too far behind in the age department. An unannounced visit wasn't a rarity for him but the aura of anxiety surrounding him was. The man before him was the epitome of Zen but the small creases marring his features told a different tale and Paul tried for a different approach.

"Hawk crashed here a couple of nights ago…"

Solace's features darkened as he looked away, taking a deep breath.

"Giving him the silent treatment isn't going to make this better Solace"

A humorless laugh, as he returned his tired gaze towards the older wolf.

"Nothing I do seems to…"

The desperation in his voice hurt and Paul considered his next words. He wasn't anyone's biological father and even though he loved him and Oliver as such, couldn't truly relate to witnessing a child's downward spiral.

"Maybe a change of scenery would do him some good. Ethan left a broken man and came back a better one, Sol. You should reach out to Tamàs…I'm sure they'd love to have him"

"It's not the same thing…"

"I know, but loss is loss and sometimes placing distance between what ails you helps. It definitely did for me"

Solace diverted his gaze; a flash of emotion passing too swiftly for Paul to interpret.

"He might not agree to go"

"Then don't give him a fucking choice. It's only a matter of time before Cheveyo and Ethan intervene anyhow. He's burning through enough drugs to bring down a horse and his body can only take so much…"

Solace closed his eyes, nodding solemnly. The conversation was not going according to plan but he couldn't deny the amount of anguish it unburdened. Hawk was so deep in his loss; it left no room for his loved ones to share in his pain. But no, he reminded himself, this was not the purpose of his visit.

"You know, you never really talk about your time away from the pack…"

The comment took him by surprise but his answer was instantaneous.

"Not much to say…I traveled…ate… I fucked, and I slept"

Solace narrowed his gaze in disbelief.

"Come on man…you were gone a long time. You can't tell me that's all there was"

Paul answered with a sad smile, his melancholy spilling onto his words.

"I didn't run towards anything special Solace. It's what I left behind which kept me a way"

"Do you regret it…leaving I mean?"

The older wolf shrugged his shoulders in ambivalence, not inclined to elaborate further.

"Truth is time has a way of catching up to you Sol. I've been restless for a while…I think it might be time for me to stop phasing"

His confession startled him and Solace felt a pang of guilt for failing to pick up on his growing unease.

"The pack still needs you Paul"

"No, they really don't. I'm tired of seeing pack brothers come and go. It might be time for me to bow out as well"

"I need you. O does too…" he countered stubbornly.

"And I'm still here…I don't plan on checking out tomorrow Solace. In time, I'll just be a more cantankerous version of my wonderful self" he smiled.

This was definitely not how he'd imagined this conversation would go and Solace wavered with indecision. Paul was undergoing some kind of midlife crisis and sharing Isis's suspicions could send him off the deep end. No, this would need to take place at a later time. The solemn wolf nodded in acceptance, moving the topic towards a neutral subject matter. He walked towards the fridge, pulling out a couple of beers as they focused on the Seahawk's game. They spent the rest of the afternoon reminiscing about old times and hurling insults at the TV screen. Through the years, the man before him had filled a gigantic void in his life. Paul had been more than a shoulder to lean on and as he took a large gulp of his beer, hoped he had the poise to do the same when the time called…

* * *

Hawk pulled the small joint out of his cousin's hand, taking a hit.

"I thought you were done smoking man…"

"Don't judge me. I've been under a lot of stress lately"

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

Koli crouched down to a squat, releasing a puff of smoke.

"I think Rave's been putting ideas in Mo's head…she keeps dropping these hints. Subtle, but they're still there"

"Hints about what?" The curious wolf inquired in between a pull of the joint.

"Babies…she keeps talking about clock's ticking and moving our relationship to the next level"

Hawk coughed out a laugh.

"Shouldn't your ass marry her first?"

The topic of marriage was a sore subject in their home. Rumor had come to grips with the uncertainty of his imprinting but Koli still prepared for the unknown. Their home was in her name and even though there wasn't a woman alive who could steal his love from her, it was a subject they navigated around. But things were growing complicated. Rumor was aging and she desired things a normal woman her age did, such as a family of her own.

"Yeah…I'm beginning to get that feeling"

"Well don't fucking tell her that…at least not in that way"

"I know…I'm not as clueless as you think asshole"

Koli snatched the joint back, giving his cousin a measuring look.

"It's nice to see your face around here Hawk…"

"Don't you fucking start too… not you"

Hawk hated seeing that look on his loved ones and wondered if Koli felt the same once upon a time. A look of disappointment in the pack's eyes…

"I'm good man…shit's getting better. Don't worry about me," he threw over his shoulder, heading towards his vehicle.

"I guess I'll see you soon then…Rave looks like she's ready to pop any minute"

Hawk nodded in agreement and Koli released a long sigh. The sour scent of his lie still lingered, and the temperamental wolf wished there was truth in his cousin's words. Hawk pushed down on the accelerator, his Audi's engine purring as it raced down the freeway. Being around his family had a way of messing with him. Their presence helped but it also left him feeling inadequate. Like he wasn't healing quickly enough, which only led to resentment. But guilt and shame were better than the constant numbness plaguing him. And his hopelessness pushed him towards the road of self-affliction. It'd become a vicious cycle…countless sexual encounters for a fleeing moment of ecstasy. Alcohol and drugs to numb out the pain.

Tonight, it would be the pleasure of flesh. A meeting with a potential client in the morning procured that. And he wouldn't even need to venture out far, could probably entice someone near his hotel. Hawk checked in to the company suite, taking a quick shower before venturing out for his prey. The Hotel bar was empty, and the young wolf went in search of the local night life. He scented her before he saw her, a yummy aroma of sugar and spice and like a moth to a flame, the young wolf followed. The bass was deafening, and Hawk stood transfixed as he watched her take the stage. She was hypnotic, and he didn't hesitate to fork over the cash for a private dance.

Makah or Quileute, he couldn't say but her copper skin glowed under the colored lighting and Hawk grabbed at her sides when she ground her hips onto his lap. Turning coyly and shaking a finger in reprimand as she climbed onto the pole.

"What's your name?"

"What do you want it to be handsome?"

Her eyes sparkled in mischief as she inverted down the pole.

"My hotel's not far, I'm staying at the Renaissance"

"I don't fuck clients" she sassed, coming to straddle him on the chair.

"Well that's good because I don't pay for sex" he countered, grabbing at her roughly, and maneuvering her hips over his lap. She felt the bulk through the front of his jeans and her heady scent reached his lupine nose. His eyes roamed down her luscious curves, placing a wicked smile on Hawk's lips.

"Come back to the hotel with me. I'll make it worth your while," he offered again, giving the raven-haired beauty a moment of hesitation.

"I get off in an hour" she whispered, before picking up her discarded top from the floor and exiting the VIP room.

It was a short walk back to the hotel and her chosen attire surprised him. She wore a simple pair of shredded black skinny jeans and a Seahawks' cropped top. If he'd encountered her at any other location, she would've passed for another pretty coed and the thought made him feel narrow-minded. She'd yet to offer up her name, appearing out of her element when they entered the luxurious suite. Hawk ordered room service but abstained from any hard liquor…a rarity for him. He tried to engage her in conversation, but she was of one mind. And he was more than happy to oblige.

Her skin was velvet and she tasted as good as she smelled. Hawk was usually shit- faced drunk by now. The drugs and alcohol typically allowing him the false feeling of euphoria. But as he thrust into her against the wall, he realized he was cold sober and drowning in the rapture of her warm cavern. Her moans spurred him on and he carried her to the extravagant bed, dropping her onto the silk sheets as he hovered over her delectable body. There was a fading scar near her bikini line and he placed a soft kiss at the tip. Her hips undulated off the bed in pleasure and the young wolf smiled as he traveled further south.

The absence of light weakened her inhibitions and Hawk responded to her body's demands. It was as raw as it was intimate; both growing increasingly confused by the strong sexual attraction. A good night's sleep had become a distant memory for him, but Solace's youngest twin slipped into unconsciousness with ease after their couplings and was disappointed when he awoke to an empty bed. Her scent lingered on his skin and he grinned in amusement when he came across the smiley face she penned with shaving cream on the bathroom mirror.

The business meeting had been postponed but the young wolf lingered in the area with a mindset of revisiting the Diamond Lounge in search of his beautiful, nameless siren. Unfortunately for him, she'd been a last-minute fill in and was only able to gather her stage name. A spark of excitement birthed at his newfound challenge and the curious wolf became even more determined to find the identity of the young woman who'd inspired such great desire and interest. That was until he spotted the white Scion parked near his hotel.

A curtain of chestnut colored hair exited the vehicle towards an awaiting man; a large diamond ring on her left finger. And the sight snapped something inside of him. Hawk cared enough for her to allow himself a little happiness on her behalf but couldn't deny the despair the sight provoked. The thought of moving on so casually seemed unfathomable to the young wolf. Life as he'd known it had ceased to exist and for the life of him, couldn't understand how she'd managed it so quickly. Or maybe it was his failure to achieve the same which left him feeling like a gutted fish.

The young wolf turned on his heels; picking up his pace in hopes of placing much distance between himself and the hotel. With no destination in mind, he wandered aimlessly through the crowded streets, watching the random strangers pass by. Hawk was drifting…felt no comfort from the familial bonds which once brought him solace and sought refuge with other broken souls. There was no judgment between them; his flaws and scars as invisible as theirs. The numbness was more addicting than the actual drugs circulating through his system… but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough to make him forget. And there lied his greatest dilemma because he didn't want to forget. It was only in his painful memories where she lived. Her tiny fingers and translucent skin…a torturous short-lived moment when he'd held her in the palms of his hand. A bright spark had lost its flame, much too precious and perfect for the cruelty of this world…

* * *

Ryan looked at his second-hand watch as he neared the corner of Maple Avenue and waited. It was 7 on the dot and he tried to remain inconspicuous from his place across the street. He half laughed, half sighed when he saw him make his way out the front door, no doubt towards the Old Boxing Gym. Lou was a creature of habit and Ryan watched him drive away wistfully, wanting nothing more than to cross the street and make his presence known. Fear of rejection stopped him, and he continued to wait, as the dairy and produce delivery man pulled up to the curve. He didn't need to wait much longer as he spotted Maddie opening the door in haste.

"No help this morning?"

"She's running a little late" she shared, and the delivery man smiled in understanding, stacking the crates near her front door to bring them inside. She moved to pick up one of the crates, but a strong set of tanned arms stopped her. Maddie looked up in surprise and found herself staring into a familiar set of brown eyes. She gasped in shock, placing a hand over her chest as Ryan smiled and greeted her with a soft peck on her cheek. Wasting no time in picking up the crates three at a time. Maddie staggered in behind him and if it wasn't for the delivery man catching her, would've stumbled flat on her face when she tripped over her doormat. The elderly woman was still gawking in shock… gone was the trim seventeen-year-old boy she'd known. The man before her was a head taller and about fifty pounds of muscle heavier.

Ryan signed for the invoice and placed it neatly on the register counter, turning to face the woman who'd saved him from himself after his world had fallen apart. Maddie's tears began to fall, and she lunged forward, wrapping her plump arms half way across his waist. Ryan leaned into her embrace, feeling a tightening in his throat as he held her close.

"When are you going to stop letting people take advantage of you? Where's your checkout girl?"

"Oh, she's just running a little behind this morning. She's a good girl Ryan…you're going to like her"

"Uh-huh"

He raised his brow in amusement, glad to see some things hadn't changed and sighed contently as he took stock of the familiar store. Maddie's eyes glistened in happiness and made a grab for his arm when he started stocking the milk and eggs.

"Ryan, stop. I haven't seen you in over three years… all that stuff can wait. Why didn't you call me? I would've picked you up… and where are you staying?"

The gentle woman dragged him towards the back of the store, where a couple of coffee tables and chairs were cozily arranged.

"I'm at a half-way house on the reservation, checked in a couple of days ago"

Maddie's eyes widened in distress and Ryan steadied himself for what he knew would follow.

"Why? You have a home Ryan…here, with us"

"Maddie…"

"You'd rather stay with a bunch of strangers than with us?"

The hurt in her voice was clear and Ryan placed his hand over hers, hoping to ease her distress.

"You've done so much for me already. It's time I start doing things for myself Maddie. I can't keep leaning on you and I don't think Lou would be cool with that anyways"

Maddie waved his words away, shaking her head in disagreement.

"Lou loves you. He's just too stubborn and proud for his own good. He needs a little time Ryan. What are you going to do for work?"

"They've arranged for me to work as a janitor at the elementary school. I start next week"

Maddie rolled her eyes and Ryan stopped her from speaking, certain of the words which would follow next.

"No... I'm not going to let you pay me for things I would gladly do for free"

She huffed back into her seat, crossing her arms in front of her chest in frustration.

"What about food? Am I allowed to invite you for the occasional meal at least?"

Ryan smiled, recognizing the stubbornness in her voice and answered with a small nod.

"As long as Lou knows I'll be coming over, I'd love to. No funny business though…"

Ryan hung around for another hour, helping the elderly woman prepare before the rush of Saturday morning clients made their appearance. He was enveloping her in a sweet embrace as he bid his goodbye when the jingling of the door distracted them both. And a young woman hurried in. She jumped in alarm, pushing the curls away from her face anxiously. Maddie hurried forward, pulling the young woman in for the introductions.

"Maya, this is my Ryan. He almost gave me a heart attack this morning by showing up unannounced"

Ryan extended his hand in greeting and the pretty teen appeared lost for words, clearing her throat before reaching for his hand.

"You look different than in the pictures upstairs"

"I've been working out more" he admitted shyly, and the young woman's eyes narrowed suspiciously, following him out the door with her gaze. Ryan promised to check in with Maddie the following day and made his way towards the bank. Lou had made him open a savings account after helping him secure his first job at the age of fourteen. Forcing him to deposit almost half of his paychecks. It wasn't a fortune, but with the interest accrued, Ryan had enough to purchase himself a cell phone, clothing, and enough to live off until he began earning money of his own. He cut through a condemned property quickening his pace, as the steady drizzle soaked through his clothing.

A soft whimpering underneath the porch caught his attention and Ryan crouched down to investigate, growing horrified at what he found. A tiny pup shivered against its mother's dead corpse, its muzzle covered in her blood. Ryan straightened up, knowing he was cutting it close for his curfew time. The smart thing would be to walk away; call the local humane society and leave it to chance. But the splintered parts of him which remembered the feeling of being left alone in the world wouldn't allow him. He squatted down, and hauled the little fur ball out, noticing the various bite marks on its mother's corpse. She fought hard to keep the pup safe and must've dragged them both under the porch for protection.

He removed a bottle of water from his backpack, proceeding to clean the blood of its snout. It had the look of a Husky and Ryan fed it a small portion of his left-over meal; not the healthiest of choices but it would do.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm turning you over to the animal shelter first chance I get"

Ryan forwent public transportation and stuffed him inside his bag, carrying it like a kangaroo pouch. Fortunately for him, the house monitor was too busy making small talk with the staff housekeeper to notice and he managed to slip past to the safety of his room.

"Don't shit on the floor or I'm tossing you out fur ball"

The pup whined pitifully, curling up on the cold floor. Ryan rolled his eyes, picking him up and bringing him onto the bed with him. He turned onto his side, covering him from prying eyes and as he drifted off to sleep, thought it morbidly amusing his tiny roommate was a creature abandoned in the same way he'd once been.

* * *

Sebastian pounded on the door, glad for the seclusion of his surroundings. He didn't have the patience for this shit and if it wasn't for Kris, would've already kicked the door in. Kris sighed in frustration and produced his wife's key for the irritated wolf. The stench of sex and alcohol was thick, and Sebastian kicked the empty bottles of Alizè away from his feet as he made his way towards the master bedroom. Kris did a quick scope of the flat, immediately sequestering the various illegal substances laying casually about and disposed of them in the custom-made bathroom.

Hawk peeled one eye open with a lazy grin, removing the naked thigh covering his hip. The sleeping red head turned towards their other bedmate, sighing sleepily onto her back. Sebastian picked up the discarded pieces of clothing from the floor and threw them on the bed; bestowing a look of disgust upon his pack brother.

"Playtime is over…both of you need to go NOW"

The sultry brunette raised herself and crawled towards the edge provocatively.

"You sure about that …there's enough room for one more?"

Hawk pulled himself off the bed, stumbling towards his bathroom in haste and emptying the remains of the night's debauchery. Kris diverted his gaze as the naked beauties rose in vexation, carrying their stilettos and clothing as they made their way out the room. Sebastian turned the shower head on and pushed the hung-over wolf in, watching him gasp in shock as the freezing water hit his bare back. The steam from his overheated skin gave the illusion of a sauna and the inebriated wolf remained in place, welcoming the soothing flow of water.

Kris located a duffel bag on his closet shelf and quietly began packing several changes of clothes. The disoriented wolf shuffled in, taking a seat on his bed and welcoming the bottle of water ushered his way.

"We've been calling you for two days asshole. You were scheduled for patrols this morning, but I guess you don't give a fuck about any of that huh? Lahote covered for your ass AGAIN but that's not why we're here. Care to guess?"

Hawk didn't respond, and Sebastian continued coolly.

"Your sister had the baby and she's wondering why her older brother hasn't bothered to stop by. We decided to spare your mother and frankly my wife, the horror of coming to find you."

Hawk met his brother in law's gaze; shame and regret clear on his features.

"How is she?"

"Everyone's good…we had a boy. Named him William, after your great grandfather"

"Congratulations man. I know how badly you've wanted this child"

Kris nodded solemnly, and Hawk pulled on a faded pair of jeans before making his way towards his closet for a shirt.

"You shouldn't be here Kris…you should be with her"

"So should you…everyone is expecting you at your parent's house. We volunteered to come get you"

Hawk nodded silently, making a grab for his car keys but Sebastian cut him short.

"I don't fucking think so Hawk" was the last thing he said to him before snatching the keys and making his way towards the door. The ride back to his parent's home was uncomfortably long and Hawk got the feeling there was something else both wolves weren't saying. Vehicles lined up the driveway and Ethan's FJ confirmed his suspicions. His mother sat at his father's side and as he stepped into their open living room, realized only a select few members of his family stood present. Sebastian and Kris stood at the door and Hawk took stock of his surroundings.

"Where's Hote?"

"Covering your patrols," answered the Alpha angrily.

It didn't escape him that neither his siblings nor Keyla stood present. In fact,

Koli was the closest to him in age and the sick look on his face told him shit was about to go down. His mother's bottom lip trembled as silent tears streamed down her beautiful face and the sight hurt him deeply.

"What is this?"

"Something we should've done months ago Hawk"

Ethan's kind eyes didn't meet his eyes as he released a long sigh.

"Tamàs has been having some trouble abroad, so we've decided to send you to help. Caleb and Tokola will be coming along with you"

Hawk laughed humorlessly, anger and hurt clear in his voice as he directed his gaze towards his father.

"Was this your idea? What's the matter? Tired of seeing what a fuck up I've become?"

He looked around the room at his family, struggling with the feeling of betrayal and rejection. Isis was on her feet and next to him in seconds, desperation on her face as she tried to make him understand.

"Baby, this isn't about sending you away…Don't you think if we knew what to do…how to help you Hawk"

Her words were choking on her sobs and Solace stood to comfort his wife as Jacob walked to stand in front of his grandson; sadness and heaviness weighing on him.

"You think this was an easy decision for us Hawk? Everyone in this room feels sick about this but our fear of seeing you go deeper down this path is far greater than our need to have you near. You won't let us in son and we're out of ideas on how to help you"

"You want to help me? Then stop pressuring me to feel better. I didn't break my fucking arm…I can't just put on a cast to make it heal"

Solace stepped forward, a look of determination clear on his face.

"We lost her too Hawk, but you won't even acknowledge it or allow us to share it with you. You've completely shut us out and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit by and do nothing while you slowly kill yourself"

Hawk had a mind to send them all to hell but the look of devastation on his mother's features solidified his resolve and nodded tiredly in defeat. Shye had dropped by with Akeimi unannounced and even though she was furious at them for keeping this from her husband, understood the reasoning behind it. Lahote was in complete denial about Hawk's instability and knew without a doubt he'd fight everyone in his family before seeing him shipped off. She agreed to remain silent until his departure and was waiting patiently in the twins' old room to allow her brother in law the opportunity to bid his goodbyes to her inconsolable daughter.

"Hey peanut"

The sobbing girl rushed into his arms and the young wolf felt the rest of his shattered heart piece off.

"Oh honey, please don't cry…it's only for a little while. Tamàs needs my help peanut"

"But I need your help too. Who's going to wead me our story? And you promised you would help me climb higher uncle Hawk"

"I know I did baby, but I have to be a brave wolf now and I need you to be brave for me too ok? I want to hear about everything you're doing, so you need to practice your letters and write me as much as you can. Can you do that for me Keimi?"

Akeimi nodded against his chest, leaving a trace of her tears on his shirt as she ran to bury her face on her father's old bed. Shye embraced him fiercely, bestowing him with words of love and support and the young wolf returned the sentiment. Isis was beyond consolation, but Hawk was barely keeping it together and couldn't look at his family as he exited his childhood home, making a beeline for Ethan's FJ. The conversation to the airport was one sided as Ethan tried to bestow words of advice but Hawk's thoughts were elsewhere.

Where had he gone wrong?

He'd been the model son, the straight A student, the youngest partner in his architecture firm and for what? It had all amounted to nothing…

Hawk tried not to give into his despair and for a moment considered jumping out of the moving vehicle but was stopped by the sight of the dream catcher sitting on top of his bag. Akeimi had gone through a bout of night terrors two years back and Hawk had made her an intricate dream catcher to ease her anxiety. Shye's penmanship stood out and the young wolf inspected the small note.

 _To help keep the bad dreams away. Hope to see you in my good dreams Uncle Hawk_

He'd never been this far away from home and had never parted from his twin for any long period of time. The prospect frightened him but understood he couldn't continue in this manner. People depended on him and if not for himself then for them he told himself as he met Ethan's intense gaze through the rare view mirror. Hawk leaned back onto his seat, committing the familiar scents to memory as he prepared to step into the unknown…

 **Playlist**

Go Slower- Radiohead

American Money-B0RNS

Everything Sank in You- Highasakite


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know, I know…It's taken forever to update but I did warn y'all I would be focusing my attention on Seasons of Change. Anyways, I hope it's worth the wait. For any of my fellow authors and readers with UK ethnicity, would love to hear feedback on the dialect below. Hope I didn't botch it up too much. Fair warning…It's about to go down y'all!**

 **M rating for mature language.**

 **Chapter 2**

"Where is this place again, man?"

Hawk looked towards his pack brothers in apology for the hundredth time since boarding their first flight. Caleb and Tokola had drawn the short end of the stick, and even though they hadn't shown an inch of resentment, Hawk saw it for what it was…babysitting duty.

"Kazakhstan…I'm sorry you guys got stuck with me, Caleb"

"What? Nah man…it's not like that. I mean, I get you weren't given much choice but I was. Cheveyo and Ethan were gonna send someone regardless, so why not? I've been itching for a change"

Caleb stared out the plane's window, hoping not to give anything away. It was true, he'd been restless for months now, but he held a more pressing reason for volunteering to come along. The image of soft, pliable lips infiltrated his thoughts and Caleb pushed the memory away. It had been wrong of him…wrong on so many levels and his traitorous thoughts reaffirmed his decision to place some much needed distance between himself and the object of his growing desire. But he wasn't about to discuss this with any of his pack brothers, especially Hawk.

Tokola was a different story altogether. He was one of the few remaining unprinted wolves left. Had seen much of his biological family come and go and was suffocating under the apathetic routine which had become his life. It had been a no brainer for him and he was actually looking forward to this time away from the reservation. Solace's youngest twin nodded in polite acceptance, sinking deeper into his seat. They still had about five hours before landing and he decided on trying for some sleep. Hawk would be lying if he denied the reassurance from his pack brothers' presence, and tried to draw comfort from their company as he willed his mind to rest.

The plane's turbulence brought him back from his slumber and all three wolves complied with the pretty flight attendant's request they fasten their seat belts. They shared and amused smile when the rest of the passengers clapped in excitement upon landing safely and Hawk stood to pull their carrier bags from the overhead compartments.

"You think we would have made it? If we'd crashed, I mean?"

Hawk allowed a half grin as they made their way down the terminal.

"I don't know…probably…not really pressed to find out though"

A flash of relief passed through Caleb's features, filling Hawk with shame and causing him slight falter in his step. Babysitting might've been a generous term. It seemed Caleb and Tokola weren't here to keep him company after all…they were on suicide watch. His nostrils flared as he caught the scent of their awaiting party and he took point, leading them through the maze of humans, scurrying busily about. Gideon and a dread-locked female he didn't recognize stood anxiously by the main gate, while Aurel came to flank the wolves as they walked towards the pair.

The young wolves scanned their surroundings; their lupine senses on full alert as they picked up on their allies' unease. One more werewolf waited in a large van and the lycans ushered them inside, taking off as soon as the sliding doors locked in place. Hawk watched Gideon's shoulders uncoil in relief as he turned towards the wolves with a wicked grin.

"All right mates?"

"Brilliant. You?"

Tokola turned towards Hawk with a wolfie grin. "I've always wanted to say that"

The youngest Tso twin rolled his eyes before meeting Gideon's gaze.

"What the fuck was that about? Why do I get the feeling you were expecting some kind of ambush?"

"Expecting, no…but we always have to be prepared, yeah?"

The she-were turned back in her seat with a coy grin, her heavy Irish accent betraying her origins.

"Hey Dorothy…you aren't in Kansas anymore"

The werewolves laughed in tandem and Gideon used the opportunity for the introductions.

"Caleb, Hawk, and Tokola, meet Teagan, our newest clan member. The burly fellow at the wheel is Kosha and you already know Aurel"

The wolves nodded in sync, sending the blonde dread-locked stunner into a chuckle. Hawk pulled out a sealed envelope from his carrier bag, handing it to the young werewolf.

"Maya sends her regards"

Gideon's cheeks flushed as he received the envelope, carefully putting it away to be read at a more opportune time. They drove through the night and the jet lag was wearing on them but the wolves remained awake, an air of uncertainty, robbing them of sleep. Hawk hadn't even bothered to question his Alpha as to the nature of Tamàs' need and was embarrassed at how detached and uninformed of pack business, he'd become. When their journey changed to one on foot, he struggled to keep his curiosity at bay.

"Why did you guys move so far east? And why didn't Tamàs meet us?"

"The territory became too dodgy. Altai can be a bit of a bore but not a lot of people about…fewer vamps, more freedom for us. Tamàs doesn't leave the territory much anymore, unless the need arises"

"I don't understand. You have the freedom to change at will now and with the Volturi gone, what is there left to fear?"

Teagan snorted loudly. The tension in their jaws was hard to miss and the young wolves exchanged a suspicious look.

"You've got it all wrong mates. With the Volturi and the Russians gone, there's no order. It's a real cock up. What is it you Americans call it? Like the wild, wild, west, yeah? Some of our clan went back into the cities to try to lead normal lives. But the majority of us are too used to this way of life, so we headed for the Altai Mountains. Your family has been very helpful to us but it's time we stand on our own"

Tokola chimed in, just as curious and concerned.

"I still don't understand. Ethan said you needed our help but he didn't specify how. Why are we here, exactly?"

The werewolves shared a look of amusement and Gideon's answering smile was one of genuine affection.

"To work, mates"

The wolves appeared confused and Gideon continued smiling.

"Don't worry about it, yeah? Tamàs will explain…I'm just bloody glad you're here. Don't get me wrong, we do need the help…but its fuckin ace to be in the company of young chaps again"

They continued at a brisk pace, following a worn trail along a clear blue lake; green hills upon green hills as far as the eye could see. A set of majestic snowcapped mountains ahead and the La Push wolves appeared lost for words by the beauty surrounding them. Hawk inhaled the crisp fresh air, welcoming the feeling of life. It would be an additional day's journey before they reached their settlement and the werewolves decided to make camp for the night. Teagan wasted no time in unlayering, and headed straight for the water with an impulsive Caleb in tow.

The werewolves appeared one with the land, effortlessly starting a fire for their night's meal. The campfire burned brightly, causing Hawk a moment of sad nostalgia. His father and Uncle Oliver had often taken them deep into the woods for their 'being one with nature' camping trips and Hawk couldn't deny they'd been some of his most memorable childhood memories. He staked a seat between the roots of an old tree, quietly observing his pack brothers and hosts. Hawk hadn't volunteered for this expedition and hadn't given much thought on what it would involve, but as he took in his pack brother's curious gaze, concluded that neither had Tokola. The realization left him feeling a bit lighter; taking small pleasure in the fact he wouldn't be going through this alone.

* * *

"How long are you planning to punish us for this?"

Isis searched her eldest gaze sadly and Lahote ignored his mother's inquiry, continuing to work on his vehicle without so much as sparing her a glance. Angry wasn't the right word to describe his state of being, after learning of Hawk's departure. He'd only just begun speaking to his wife out of sheer need. Lahote felt barren…helpless in his inability to comfort his brother and enraged at his family's betrayal. Frustrated, he couldn't just leave his pregnant wife and daughter in his effort to bring his twin home.

"He is as much a part of me as he is a part of you and I couldn't just continue watching him drift away"

"And exiling someone is how you keep them from drifting away further?"

The anger in his eyes felt like a knife to her chest and Isis's voice cracked with emotion.

"Try to see it from our point of view Lahote. You have a child of your own now. The only thing worse than seeing your child in pain, is not being able to do anything about it. I know it's hard for you to accept this, but nothing we were doing was helping him. My hope is that he finds his way again away from here. Please don't pull away from us...it's hard enough as it is"

The frustrated wolf sighed heavily; continuing tinkering with his car, and feeling like a royal asshole after the salty scent of his mother's tears reached his lupine nose. The sound of her retreating steps tore him up inside and he threw the wrench on his garage floor in anger as his wife walked out of their home to wrap her in an embrace.

"Give him some time. He'll come around"

Isis nodded silently, looking back towards her son's home.

"I don't want Keimi seeing me like this"

"She can ride in to school with me. But you can pick her up after school if you still want to spend time with her"

"I'd like that" she answered; tightening her grip on her daughter in law's hand as she climbed on to her SUV. Shye paced her steps, stopping near her garage's entrance.

"I'm curious to know Lahote, when _is_ this going to end?"

His eyes burned with repressed anger and he abandoned his task, seeking distance from the conversation but Shye was not ready to let it go.

"You are not the only one torn up about this. I don't agree with how it went down but something needed to be done. And your love for him was blinding you to the truth…Isis is right, he was going down a dangerous path"

"You had no right keeping the truth from me. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye"

"Because you wouldn't have allowed him to leave"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, I WOULDN'T HAVE"

Lahote was losing control…he felt the familiar ripples traveling up his spine and his wife was standing far too close for his liking. His panic grew as he struggled to rein in his anger and it was the frightened voice of his young daughter which stopped him cold.

"Daddy? Why you yelling at mommy?"

"Akeimi honey, everything is OK. Please stay upstairs. Daddy and I are just talking. I'll be up in a minute to help you get ready for school"

He'd scared her…and it pushed him past the edge. He tore out of his home like a man possessed, barely crossing through his back door before landing on two silver paws. He released an anguished howl as his limbs stretched out in urgency; greens and browns blurring past him in his haste for relief. Thoughts of concern and guilt infiltrated his thoughts and Lahote gave a mental smirk as he changed his trajectory.

G _ood…just the wolf he wanted to see._

 _Come on man…I'm not gonna do this with you. We didn't have a choice…_

 _You always have a choice, Koli._

And then he lunged…It was the first time Koli hadn't fought back and he was glad to bleed for him, if it helped alleviate his pain. It took Luca, Ethan and Jahir's help to cease his attack and the Beta realized they'd underestimated Lahote's fury. Ethan and Cheveyo's primary concern had been Hawk, but they hadn't considered the unbalance it would cause his twin.

 _Bring him back Ethan_

The Beta released a long sigh

 _You know we can't do that, brother. I'm sorry it had to come to this, but Hawk needed a drastic change in his life._

 _What he needs, is to have the people who are supposed to love him near for support._

 _I know it's hard for you to accept this, but we tried that and it wasn't doing him any good. We were only enabling him. What would you say if I told you he'd been thinking about taking his own life?_

 _You're lying…_

Images of Sebastian's memories entered the mind link as well as Ethan's the day he'd driven him to the airport.

 _I don't do this to hurt you, but you need to open your eyes, Lahote. Tamàs has specific needs; ones I hope will give your brother purpose. To remind him of all the amazing things he's capable of. And it's not like he's alone…Caleb and Tokola will watch out for him._

 _It's not the same thing…he needs his family_

 _We are his family… Be fucking mad if you want, but I'm asking for your trust. We don't share the same bond you two do, but we all love Hawk. If this doesn't work, then we'll bring him home. We can try it your way, but I have a feeling this will be good for him._

Lahote didn't comment either way, choosing to continue his run in human form. He didn't want anyone in his head, especially after getting a front row seat to the extent of his brother's downward spiral. Hawk had always praised him for his tenacity and fearless nature but Lahote had always found the courage to walk ahead because he'd known his brother was there to catch him when he fell. And for once, the shoe was on the other foot…and Lahote had failed him. Had watched him fall off the precipice and stood by, looking on helplessly.

He broke through the trees into a small clearing, surveying the familiar place. It had been their secret location; a spot Koli and they frequented often in their childhood to get away from everyone else. The urge to get on the next plane to follow after him was tempting but things were different now. He had people who depended on him; a family of his own. He couldn't hold back the silent tears traveling down his cheeks and didn't possess the strength to threaten Koli away when he cautiously took a seat by his side.

"I failed him"

"We all did Hote, but he's a grown man…Hawk's always been the one with all the answers, you know? Dealing with something like that is hard enough. I think he fixated on trying to make it better. Shit is, you can't…you just have to live through it and allow the people you trust to help you along. But he wouldn't do that…"

"And how's he supposed to that now?"

"Look, I know you're pissed, but I think Cheveyo and Ethan have a point. Maybe that's not what he needs. We've been forcing ourselves on him but maybe all he needs is to feel useful gain. Something to bring him perspective"

Lahote sighed, coming to his feet as he chewed over his cousin's words.

"When did you become so fucking insightful?"

Koli followed after him, answering with one of his crooked grins as they headed back towards the res.

"That hurts my feelings asshole. I got plenty of shit to say, people just don't seem to listen. You know what else hurts?"

"What?"

"That lame ass beating I just took because of your fucking little tantrum"

"Well, I didn't have to try very hard. Domestic life is taming you, man"

"Bitch please, you couldn't handle me if I'd actually fought back"

Lahote shook his head in amusement, feeling slightly pacified by the light banter.

"Thanks man, I needed that"

"Anytime…you for me and me for you right?"

"Yeah…that's right" he whispered, speeding up his pace in hopes of catching his wife to apologize before she took off for work.

* * *

Ryan spread the blanket across the closet floor, eyeing the pup in doubt. This was a bad idea, one of the worst ideas he'd had in a long time, but what was the alternative? He couldn't risk leaving him at the half-way house and Maddie certainly couldn't watch him in a store full of customers. Ryan had tried…he really had. He'd walked into the animal shelter determined to hand over the pup, but after taking one look at the greedy eyed look of one of the care takers and the less then hospitable conditions in which they cared for the animals, turned about without another word. So there he was, hiding the small pup in his assigned janitorial closet of La Push's Elementary School with a small container of water and food.

"What you doing?"

A soft voice startled him and Ryan jumped, turning to face the source of his surprise. A set of grey eyes peered up at him until she caught sight of the small pup.

"A puppy…you have a puppy. He's so cute…." she gushed, kneeling on the floor to welcome the jovial pup into her small arms.

"You can't be in here. Please, I can't let anyone see him" he pleaded sheepishly, realizing he was bargaining with a child.

"I won't tell…I pwomise. I'm good at keeping secwets"

The determination and seriousness in her features made him smile and Ryan nodded in amusement.

"It's like 7 in the morning. Shouldn't you still be in bed?"

"My mom teaches second gwade and my nana couldn't bwing me to school today"

Her voice tinged with sadness and Ryan was surprised with his sudden urge to comfort her, leading him to his next question.

"Well you shouldn't be talking to strangers. Where's your mother anyways?"

"She's in her classwoom. I had to pee but I met you before…wemember?"

Her gap-toothed smiled made him chuckle. How could he forget those soulful grey eyes?

"Yeah, I remember. I almost ran you over. Akeimi, right?"

She smiled prettily in answer and Ryan could hear the clicking sound of heels down the hallway; rushing them both out of the closet.

"Remember, you can't tell anyone he's here. They'll take him away before I can find him a home, OK?"

"I won't tell. Pinky pwomise" she whispered conspiratorially as she raised her small finger to entwine it with his. Akeimi ran towards her mother's footsteps, hoping to cut off her approach and lure her away in the opposite direction.

"Akeimi, where have you been? Who were you talking to?"

Shye caught Ryan's retreating form as he turned the corner, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"He wowks here mom. He was asking me if I was OK and I told him you was a teacher here"

"That was nice of him honey, but he's right. It isn't safe for you to be wandering alone and I don't move too fast these days" she offered, running her hand down her swollen belly. The spirited little girl nodded in agreement, leading her mother back towards her classroom, with a bright smile in place.

Ryan was fortunate enough to get through the remainder of his shift without a hitch. He was a nervous wreck but the students' loud voices helped cover the pup's whining. He needed this job… it was the first step in reclaiming his life. He could almost hear Gabriel's scolding voice in his head.

 _That's your problem Ryan. You never know when to walk away._

And he'd proven him right time and time again, but he had learned the importance of paying it forward. He'd been this puppy once upon a time, and if it hadn't been for Maddie and Lou's belief in him, Ryan was pretty sure he'd still be doing serious time or dead.

It was too late to take anything back anyways; his main concern was getting him out of sight before the change in shift arrived. He stuffed the little fur ball into his backpack and hauled the last trash bag out towards the dumpster with every intention of getting the hell out of dodge. But Isis had just stepped out of her SUV, hoping to swing by the main office before picking up both girls from their classroom and stopped dead in her tracks at seeing the tall muscular body exiting the side of the school. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to do this, but the opportunity may never come again and turned about after him.

 _What was his name again?_

She'd been in such a stupor after their meeting, she couldn't recall.

"Hey…you with the bag… I think your friend's trying to make his grand escape..."

Ryan had no choice but to slow his pace and caught a glimpse of the pups' muzzle sticking out of his bag. It was the same woman from the diner and Ryan briefly wondered if his grey- eyed accomplice ratted him out.

"Didn't mean to spook you, but I couldn't remember your name and your dog looks about ready to bail"

"Oh no, it's cool…I appreciate it"

"Do you remember me? You bumped into my granddaughter outside of the diner. My name is Isis"

Bumped was a generous word and Ryan gave her his best smile, wondering how this stunning woman could be anybody's grandmother.

"Yeah, I remember. It's Ryan…"

"Ryan…I haven't seen your face around here before…do you live nearby?"

The scent of anxiety reached her nose and the she-wolf knew she'd been a little too abrupt. Ryan looked torn but didn't get the opportunity to respond because a familiar vehicle pulled up to their side.

"Is everything OK mam? Is this man giving you any trouble?"

Isis took in Ryan's change in demeanor. His face was a mask of cool indifference but his posture spoke of restrained animosity as he turned to face the vehicle.

"Everything's OK officer, why do you ask?"

"Well, one can never be too sure these days. There are all kinds of animals and crazies out here"

His words dripped with hidden innuendo and Ryan's jaw tightened.

"Say Lakoda, did you know it's illegal to have a dog on school property?"

Ryan's eyes betrayed his panic and Isis felt unnerved by the malice in the officer's voice. It was clear, there was some deep rooted history between them and she had no concrete reason to act on his behalf, but something deep inside of her pushed her to speak up.

"I'm sorry officer; I didn't mean for him to get out of the vehicle. He ran out so fast and this young man was nice enough to catch him for me. I was actually offering him a ride home for his trouble when you pulled up"

Maybe it had been the desperation on his young face or her displaced guilt over being powerless to help her own son. Or perhaps, it was his familiar features or the mask of detachment she recognized from the many years shared with Solace...Isis didn't know, but his relief was palpable and she gifted him a small smile. Moletti's eye narrowed in suspicion, knowing he had no choice but to accept her words.

"Yeah…a real peach he is. Glad it all worked out for you Ms…I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"I didn't give it officer. Ryan, why don't you take…uh… Fluffy back to my vehicle while I run inside and pick up the girls? It's the black Cherokee up ahead. I can drop you off on my way home"

Isis was taking a large gamble. She had no idea who Ryan was but if her intuition was correct, then he was already pack and it would provide her with the perfect opportunity to pry.

"I'll be seeing you around Lakoda"

Ryan headed straight for the SUV, without sparing Moletti another glance. Isis could see the flexing of his muscles as he reined in his anger. He was close, maybe a few weeks from phasing at the most and knew she was running out of time. She took out her cell phone, sending her husband a text.

 _You wouldn't believe who I ran into today. Might bring a guest over for dinner._

 _OK. Need me to pick up anything?_

 _No. Just hurry home._

 _?_

 _You'll see..._

 _Iz?_

 _Love u, just hurry home please. No time to explain now._

She rushed into the school, forgoing the main office and walking straight into the aftercare class.

"Sooo? Who cares about your stupid sleepover…she didn't want to go anyways, right Keimi?"

"Jesse Jaymes Littlesea, what have I told you about using that kind of language in this classroom? Do I need to call your mother?"

Isis smiled in amusement, imagining how that conversation would go. JJ was a combination of Sebastian's bad temper and Keyla's stubborn nature and she was pretty sure either of them could be blamed for her sometimes potty mouth. But she and her granddaughter were as thick as thieves and their parents and grandparents wouldn't have it any other way. Potty mouth and all…

"Girls, get your backpacks and jackets please. I'm kind of in a hurry today. Sorry Ms. Glass, I'll have a talk with her on the way home" she smiled in apology.

"Thank you Isis"

JJ smirked at the fuming group of girls as they made their way out the classroom, waving goodbye.

"JJ, why were you being so rude to those girls?"

"She wasn't nana. Nancy was making fun of my boy clothes and said I not invited to her birthday pawty"

"Did she, now?"

Isis raised her perfectly arched brow, looking back towards the classroom in disdain.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with your clothing, Akeimi. Don't ever allow anyone to make you feel bad over how you dress...that goes for the both of you. What do you girls say we have a sleepover of our own this weekend?"

The two girls cheered as they made their way across the lot and JJ voiced her surprise when the ruggedly handsome man opened the passenger door to the SUV.

"Who are you?"

"JJ…" Isis's clipped voice was reproaching.

Akeimi's eyes brightened as she hopped onto her booster seat, scanning for the small pup and Ryan greeted her with a sly wink.

"Girls, this is Ryan. We're giving him a ride home today. Akeimi do you remember Ryan from the diner?"

"Yes nana"

"Auntie Isis, can we hold the puppy, please?"

"You should ask Ryan, JJ. It's his dog"

"Can we Mr. Ryan, sir?"

"Just Ryan" he grinned, passing the little fur ball back onto her awaiting hands.

"And he isn't really mine. I found him under a porch. His momma died, I'm just taking care of him until I can find him a home"

"That's so sad…Nana, can we keep him pleeeeease"

"Akeimi, I don't know if your mom is ready for that right now"

"But he can live with you until daddy says I can bwing him home"

Isis's throaty chuckle betrayed her amusement. The girl was a master manipulator, and was well aware she had her oldest son wrapped around her little finger.

"I'll think about it OK?"

And Akeimi smiled at her cousin in excitement, knowing 'I'll think about it' was usually code for yes.

"Ryan, is he a boy or girl puppy?"

"Uh, he's a male"

"He looks like Uncle Koli"

Ryan looked back towards JJ in confusion. Isis's loud cough brought his attention back to the front.

"Are you alright mam?"

"Please, call me Isis. Where are we headed?"

Ryan wavered, deciding to just rip the band aid off. She should know who was in her vehicle before taking off and wanted to give her the choice of backing out.

"I'm staying at the half way house by Uwohali Lane. But you really don't need to drop me off. I can walk. You've done enough for me already"

The reek of shame was potent and Isis answered with a kind smile.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's on my way home. Besides, it'll give you a chance to talk me into taking this puppy home"

Ryan struggled to keep the surprise from his features. It wasn't often he encountered such kindness, especially from someone with the financial means to purchase a brand new sports vehicle. Ryan had learned early on in his life, that classicism was real among them. But it was with those individuals, his people considered reservation trash, with whom he'd found the most acceptance and support. With the exception of Maddie and Lou that was, but it had been their love for his mother which had opened that door…

Ryan met Isis's gentle gaze and returned her smile. The ride towards the half-way house was lively, as both girls bombarded him with questions and Ryan tried his best to engage. Social interactions weren't his strong suit but there was something about Akeimi's curious and brazen nature which appealed to him; reminiscent of a girl who'd held a prominent place in his life. Ryan pushed the thought away, silently chastising himself for the traitorous thought. Gabriel was right… as much as he'd loved her, she was a liability he couldn't afford and focused his attention to the conversation at hand.

"What's his name Wyan?"

Her small lisp made him smile and he turned to face those stunning grey eyes.

"I haven't named him yet"

"He doesn't have a name? But everyone needs a name..."

"Well, why don't you two help me come up with one? I'm not very good at that kind of thing"

Their eyes widened in excitement, a look of genuine honor clear in their gaze. They went off into their own little world and Ryan laughed when Isis recalled her brain fart from that afternoon.

"What, Fluffy, isn't good enough for you? I don't even know what possessed me to say that"

"Hey…I was just glad you were saving my a…uh…behind"

"Ooohh, I know what you were going to say Ryan…" JJ's mischievous tone earned her a glare from Isis's rear view mirror.

"I bet you do… It isn't polite to listen to other people's conversations JJ"

Her toothy smile was blinding and she returned her attention to the name game.

"Ryan, do you have plans for this evening?"

"Uh, not really, I was planning to work out for a bit"

"Well, I'd like to run the puppy idea by my husband. I was thinking you could join us for dinner, so he could decide for himself. I'd drive you home afterwards of course"

"Wyan, please say yes. Pleeease. My papa Solace is the best"

JJ nodded her head in solidarity. She loved both of her gramps fiercely. Grampa Remy and Collin were great but Solace was as cool as grownups got. The idea of a home cooked meal appealed to Ryan greatly and even though he'd be pushing himself out of his comfort zone, felt obliged to comply. Isis had been nothing but kind and the idea of finding a loving home for the pup was a motivating factor, so he willingly agreed.

Their home was a bit remote; nestled between the woods. But it was breathtakingly beautiful. It had a rustic feel with a modern touch, open wide spaces with large clear glass windows. The kitchen's ceiling was comprised of a large skylight and Ryan admired the finer details of the architecture, impressed with the warmth of the décor. Black and white pictures graced their many walls, and Ryan was taken back with how large her family appeared to be. He recognized the massive charismatic man featured on many of her photographs, realizing she was related to one Jacob Black.

"Is he your family?"

Isis abandoned her pots and pans to take a closer look, smiling at the picture in question.

"That's my daddy"

"How does he manage to look so young?"

And Isis answered with a placating smile.

"Good genes, I guess. What about your family, Ryan? Are they Quileute?"

"My mom was Makah"

"And what about your father?"

Ryan hesitated, meeting her curious gaze. He was saved by the sound of wheels against gravel, pulling up to the driveway and Isis's head snapped towards the door.

"Ryan, would you mind checking on the girls for me? I need to step outside for just a minute"

Her voice sounded strained, but he obediently complied and headed up the stairs, following the pup's playful barks. Isis felt her stomach drop… she'd been so focused on prying, she'd completely missed the two familiar scents and forwent caution as she flashed out the door as fast as her supernatural gifts allowed.

"Why didn't you tell me you invited Paul over?" she whispered.

Solace cocked his head in confusion, clearly taken back with his wife's words.

"Since when does he need an invitation Iz?"

The observant wolf went on full alert, his wife's panic stricken face causing him much alarm. His nostrils flared as he caught two foreign scents coming from their home. A voice he didn't recognize and playful growls with those of his favorite little spitfire and precious peanut. Paul sauntered up the driveway with his usual shit eating grin, confusion marring his handsome features as he caught sight of the distraught she-wolf.

"Wait... Don't go inside just yet. Just let me explain..."

Her voice was pleading and Paul cocked his head to the side, looking towards Solace for guidance.

"Iz, you're fucking scaring me…who's inside our home?"

Both wolves raised their gaze as the sound of heavy footsteps descended down Solace's staircase. It was a moment Paul would revisit and question for the rest of his days. His jaw slackened in shock and he pushed past the tiny hybrid trying to stand in his way. A much younger version of himself stood in the middle of Solace's kitchen. But those eyes, they weren't his eyes…they were the same sad, almond shaped eyes who had once stolen his heart.

Ryan looked towards Isis in betrayal; sheer loathing, evident on his handsome face.

"Who are you?"

The words tasted foolishly on his tongue, but Paul couldn't muster any other words.

Ryan snatched his jacket off the kitchen stool, moving towards the front door. A heavy hand on his shoulder froze him in place and he shook the hand violently off.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME"

Ryan was a burning man, his body trembling with an all-consuming rage. Memories of his mother's beautiful and kind face tormenting him, pushing him past the point of no return. He hated the man standing in front of him; blamed him for everything which had gone wrong in his life. His head felt like a ticking time bomb, ready to diffuse with the slightest movement. Ryan was losing himself, felt his body blurring violently and wondered if anyone could implode from rage.

Isis rushed to her phone, ushering the two statue still girls at the top of the stairs into her sons' room. Solace shoved Paul back and made a grab for Ryan, muscling him towards the woods as his bones began to realign between his restraining arms. He was dying… Ryan was sure of it, as the obscene sound of his bones snapping mirrored his pain. He released a horrified howl, forced to his knees by the sheer agony. He couldn't see, couldn't hear…there was only pain.

The patrolling wolves neared, encircling the young wolf to be in their human form. Cheveyo had rushed to his sister's home after hearing the first howl and was trying his best to restrain and console a devastated Paul. Ethan and Solace phased in preparation of what would follow. An ear rupturing ringing tormented the young fighter, right before his violent change. Soft whispers filled his mind.

 _Brother… pack…family._

But Ryan had no brothers, the closest thing to it was finishing his time at the Olympic Correction Center and he had no family to speak of. She was dead; dead because of the sperm donor before him.

 _You're wrong Ryan. We are your brothers… we are your family now._

Ethan's kind voice captured the young wolf's attention and Ryan was sure he'd lost his mind. Fractured after coming face to face with the fraud he'd been cursed with as a father. Two gigantic wolves stood in front of him and Ryan looked down towards his feet. No feet…two dark silver paws in their place. The world spun and then it all went black…

 **Playlist**

The Beach-The Neighborhood

Your Hand In Mine-Explosions In the Sky


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Can I share this story is proving more difficult to write than I ever anticipated. Not in a bad way…more so in trying to assure I get it just right. This is the final story in the timeline of the series after all…Ryan's flashback runs parallel to the timeline of Paul's interaction with Cheveyo in Chapter 13 of After the Rain for those who are curious.**

 **M rating for violence and language.**

 **Chapter 3**

 _The day had started out like any other day. Black clouds sprawled across the sky. The scent of rain permeating the air. The drizzling was beginning to soak through his clothes and like many other days past, Ryan cursed the gloomy weather. His short legs continued down the muddy path; a torrent of rain couldn't stop him now…The wind stung his cheeks, but he welcomed the pain. Anything that would liberate his anguish. Angry tears carved their own path amongst the rain droplets streaming down his face but Ryan continued undeterred._

 _He needed no marker; he'd visited her almost daily since she'd forsaken him. The dark granite headstone was hard to miss. Maddie had spared no expense. His overgrown fingernails dug into the palms of his hands as he battled against the whirlpool inside of him._

 _"Why momma? "_

 _His legs weakened; his knees digging into the soft, wet ground as he came face to face with the fancy spelling of his mother's name. Ryan raised his eyes to the sky, expecting no answers but couldn't stop himself from asking again._

 _"Why?"_

 _The last couple of weeks had passed in a stupor. He'd eaten when he was told, slept when the exhaustion of his tears and muffled cries overcame insomnia and owed the few stolen moments away from the boys' group home to Maddie and Lou. Ryan had been searching through the few personal belongings his mother had stowed away in Maddie's store. All in hopes of taking small pieces of her back to the group home, when he came across a picture of a man he didn't recognize and the damn letter. It was addressed to a name he didn't recognize and as he read though the first lines, felt shame for the feeling of disgust brewing at the pit of his stomach._

 _She'd been unfaithful, and Ryan had been the product of her adultery. All those beatings she'd taken, his crushing guilt of not being able to help her...His father must've known, and it was all beginning to make sense now. Ryan hated the man he grew up believing was his father; never understood why he'd treated him with such disdain, until now. And she'd stayed with him...condemning them both to a life of misery._

 _Why?_

 _His legs had taken flight, leading him to her resting ground. Ryan wanted to hate her for this, wanted to tell her she deserved everything she got for being such a liar. But he couldn't, because she was dead. He wanted to punish her; wanted to hurt her as much as she'd hurt him and pulled out a small marble bag out of his pocket. It held little knickknacks she'd given him through the years. A dried up lily flower, so he could carry her with him, she'd told him. A page from their favorite book… a book he'd memorized cover to cover. He discarded the leather bag forcefully next to her grave and forced himself to walk away. Ryan wandered through the reservation aimlessly; his clothes soaked to the bone until he heard the familiar rumbling of Lou's truck. Maddie had taken one look at him and pulled him into her embrace._

 _The weeks which followed were tough; Ryan went into survival mode as he acclimated to the 'eat or be eaten' rules of the group home. Maddie and Lou had begun the paperwork to request guardianship, but he knew it would be months before his case would be reviewed. He was Quileute and a couple of pale faces' request to take custody of him would not be taken lightly. Then there was his own guilt…Ryan thought about the marble bag more times than he could count. He was angry at his mother still…but Lily had loved him fiercely; had showered Ryan with so much affection and devotion, it was hard for him to think ill of her._

 _He missed her terribly and was growing curious about the identity of the man she'd loved. Who was he and why had he not stepped forward to help her? To help him? The questions occupying his young mind were more than he could process on his own. He needed answers and there was only one person Ryan could think of asking; the woman who had loved his mother almost as much as he had…Maddie. Their visits were limited and few so Ryan wasted no time in questioning the elderly woman. Her face betrayed her shock but she complied in sharing the little she knew. His name was Paul and his mother had never confirmed what Maddie had suspected all along._

 _Maddie hadn't known the details of their relationship, but she knew he'd left town long ago. Ryan didn't know why that piece of information made him feel a bit better, but he supposed it proved she hadn't continued with the affair. Everyone made mistakes and Paul had clearly not cared enough about her to stick around. Ryan felt a piercing stab in his chest as he thought about the marble bag, convincing Maddie to let him make his way towards the cemetery with every intention of getting it back. The temperature was dropping and Ryan was grateful he'd listened to the kind storekeeper's sage advice and brought his hoodie along._

 _Ryan never made it to his mother's grave that day. He'd stopped a distance away, after catching the sight of a tall, muscular man tracing the letters of her name reverently. It had to be him…who else could it be? He felt a spark of hope coming to life; maybe he wouldn't have to live at the group home after all. But his joy was short lived. Paul had returned and days before his mother's death, she'd decided to leave his father once and for all. A coincidence? Ryan thought not…Outrage bubbled inside of him. His mother had died at the hands of the bastard she'd lied to for who knows how long. And for what? All to be with him…_

 _Her death was on his hands. Conflict stirred inside of him. Paul could be the answer to his prayers; he could be the father Ryan had always yearned for. Fear of rejection stung but his resentment stung more. It was his fault…and if he'd wanted anything to do with Ryan, why hadn't his mother ever spoke of him? Loathing won out in the end and he stomped up the dirt path. He'd have to come for the marble bag another day. Ryan hurried his steps as twilight approached. The rumbling of a vehicle neared and a smooth baritone sounded out._

 _"Hey kid, need a ride back to the res?"_

 _He was in no mood to speak with anyone but could benefit from a ride. He chanced a sideway glance to accept and felt his heart drum in alarm. It was him…Ryan hurried his pace; adrenaline and indecision warring inside of him. He may never get this chance again._

 _"It's really no trouble kid, you can hop on the truck bed if you prefer"_

 _His anger spiked and words he'd never spoken to an adult spewed out._

 _"Fuck off…I don't need your charity" he grumbled out as he made for the trees. It wasn't the safest and smartest choice, but that day; Ryan realized he was nowhere near ready to face him. In fact it would be a decade before Ryan gathered the courage to face off with the man he so closely resembled._

* * *

Paul hunkered down on his front paws, as he watched over the passed out pup. Regret and shame were heavy on his heart and the seasoned wolf was grateful for his pack's gift of privacy. Wolves dreamed in their sleep…well, Paul wasn't sure if it was all wolves, but this kid sure did. Through his young mind, Paul traveled back to that awful day; the day he'd made peace with Lily's death. Paul had never been one to live in regret, but how he wished he could go back to that day.

 _You know what your problem is Paul? You never see things though._

Jacob's words were coming back to haunt him. They were words which had been repeatedly spoken through the years and the unruly wolf had always carelessly ignored. But they were true. Paul should've insisted, should've followed him into the woods, even without the knowledge that he was his…his son. The word hurt to repeat, even if just in his thoughts. He had a kid…and knowing it could've made such a difference in both of their lives. Something about that kid had struck a nerve and now he monumentally understood why.

"Is that normal? I've never seen a wolf pass out like that before"

Jahir hovered over the unconscious wolf, looking towards Seth for a response and Paul growled out his distaste.

"He's fine, just give him some room. It's a lot for anyone to take in"

Seth's eyes observed their newest wolf with a keen eye, counting his heartbeats and respirations for any signs of distress. The pup was stable and Seth surmised the shock of it all had been too much for him to handle. It wasn't every day you came face to face with your estranged father and realized you were destined to moonlight as an overgrown dog. Paul was a different story all together and experience told Seth shit would get a lot worse before it got any better. Cheveyo's worried features were an indication of his mutual concern. The dominant wolf phased back on the spot, unconcerned with his nudity but pulled up a pair of gym shorts quickly after.

"Why isn't he waking up Seth?"

His voice dripped with concern as he ambled over in defeat towards the sleeping pup. This was not how it was supposed to go down, and Solace turned sad eyes towards his mentor and friend. Paul's face was a picture of desolation and it hurt to see him in so much pain.

"His breathing and pulse are normal…he'll come around when he's ready, but crowding him isn't going to help"

Cheveyo wavered with his words but thought better of remaining silent.

"I know this is difficult, but seeing you here might set him off again, Paul. Maybe its better if you…"

"I'm not fucking going anywhere. I just found out, I have a grown ass kid and from the stench of guilt around here, my guess is some of you already knew"

His tongue was heavy with the taste of betrayal as he leveled Solace with an icy glare and the younger wolf had a hard time meeting his gaze.

"I don't even know his fucking name Cheveyo…"

"Ryan…his name is Ryan, Uncle Paul"

Five wolves turned their heads towards the sound of JJ's voice and the two girls knew they'd been caught red handed. They'd snuck out through the back of the house and Cheveyo gave them his best Alpha glare.

"Sowwy uncle Cheveyo but Wyan's our friend. We just wanted to make sure he was OK"

Isis watched her husband pick up both girls, walking silently back into their home. Paul was one of the most important people in Solace's life and she recognized the heavy guilt on his features for how this had gone down. This was her doing and she felt all kinds of awful, but it was bound to happen eventually and they could now focus on putting the pieces back together, whenever Ryan's consciousness decided to rejoin them.

* * *

 _Date of last menstrual period…_

Her hand shook, as she scribbled down her response. She was late…seven days late to be exact and was grateful when she heard her name being called by the nurse.

"Oleander Niabi…"

She followed down the hallway and into an exam room despondently, asking herself how she'd allowed this to happen. The memory of warm, soft lips making their way down her thighs was a quick reminder of how, and she was grateful the nurse hadn't caught the pinkish hue making its way up her face. It had been a long time since a man had made her feel that good. He'd been gentle yet demanding… Possessive but unselfish. His memory had found its way into her thoughts more times than she cared to admit, but it was an allowance she couldn't afford. She'd already broken her number one rule of not sleeping with a potential client and was now paying the price.

"Good afternoon Ms. Niabi. My name is Michelle…I'm one of the midwives. What brings you in today?"

"I'm a week late. I'd like a pregnancy test and to be checked for any STDs"

"I see. Were you using any form of protection?"

"No... I took the morning after pill but I'm not sure it worked"

"OK, well that could explain why your period is late, but we'll do the pregnancy test to be sure. Have you thought about your options, in case you are pregnant?"

 _Had she thought about her options? That's all she'd thought about in the last week._

"Yes, but I'm not really sure what I would do…"

"Well you don't have to make any decisions today. How about you give us a urine sample and then come back and undress from the waist down? I'll do a pelvic exam and take samples for any STIs while the pregnancy test runs. We can chat a bit more after the results come back"

It was the longest twenty minutes of her life and her eyes welled up with tears when she heard the negative result. Relief and gratitude heavy on her list of emotions. The midwife had been very supportive and she appreciated not feeling judged. The rest of the results would come back within a week's time but she'd only requested them as a precaution. Pregnancy had been her number one concern.

There was one more stop she needed to make before heading to work. A trip she'd made monthly in the last three years. Ollie walked up to the lobby kiosk of the Olympic Correction Center with her completed voucher and forked over the thirty dollars, awaiting her receipt. She always made the deposit in Maddie's name; knowing he'd refused the funds if he knew they came from her.

"This inmate is no longer housed at this facility"

Ollie heard the words, but they sounded foreign to her ears.

 _Had something happened to him? Had he been transferred?_

She was well aware of Moletti's reach and wouldn't put it past him to arrange a relocation.

"Was he transferred to a different facility?"

The words sounded weak even to her own ears and she held her breath, waiting to hear the C.O.'s response.

"He was released…surprised he didn't tell such a pretty lady himself"

The words slapped her cold in the face; a mixture of joy and pain. Ryan was free and he hadn't bothered to find her. She couldn't blame him of course. They hadn't parted in the best of terms but still...Their lives had been so intricately intertwined the last decade, she couldn't fathom a life without his presence. But he'd been clear; he wanted no part of her and Ollie was still reeling from his rejection. No matter…he was free and she could focus on making up for her mistakes. Hope was a dangerous thing for people like her, but Ollie hadn't made it this far in life by being a coward.

Ryan was just too important to give up on and she knew he felt the same way about her. It was the reason they always found a way back to one another. Thoughts of her earlier scare became a distant memory as her mind swirled with possibilities. There were only so many places he could go; he would probably have some sort of parole. She wasn't sure but knew the identity of a woman who Ryan would never avoid. And she would know exactly where to find him. The Organic Market was on the other side of town; ways away from her route to work and so the visit would have to wait another day. She struggled to keep her mind in the present, a habit she was working on improving. But took comfort in the certainty of reuniting with the only man whom she'd truly ever loved.

* * *

 _The cool water on his skin was a reprieve. The sweltering heat the last couple of days had scorched his overheated skin. He wanted to indulge a bit longer, but Caleb had places to be and began the swim back towards the shore. Lustful eyes followed him out of the water, placing a wicked grin on his lips. Caleb was a sensual and physical creature. A notorious flirt; but it was always done with the utmost transparency. He didn't care for mind games or misleading those he pursued. But these days, the thrill of conquests didn't provide the same gratification they once did. And even though he still smiled flirtatiously at his admirers, continued towards his vehicle in haste._

 _His family worried…he was one of the few unattached wolves left and showed no signs of settling down. It wasn't like he was opposed to monogamy; quite the contrary actually. Caleb envied his parents' relationship and his sister's domestic bliss, but was simply too fickle in his relationships. He was affectionate and doting with his paramours, but lost interest far too quickly and often wondered if his bi-sexuality was the reason he struggled to find an ideal mate. Caleb had his father's good looks and Embry's playful nature; a deadly combination which allowed him much choice. And boy did he take full advantage of such choice…_

 _His female conquests far outweighed his male ones, and truth be told, it was Ethan's arrival in Europe, which precipitated him into coming to terms with his sexuality. He'd been so smitten with the blue-eyed wolf so long ago, that Jade found pleasure in teasing mercilessly even to this day. His family was supportive of him and his pack brothers never judged but still…Caleb understood the self-inflicted stigma which often came along with the territory, solidifying his resolve for tonight's excursion._

 _Caleb had been in his shoes once upon a time, and he wasn't about to turn his back on a friend in need. The young wolf hated the ambience of gay pick up bars…but this kid needed a serious wake up call. He'd never met anyone quite like him before; mature and grounded, yet so child-like and innocent in many ways. Not to mention clueless; very clueless. Even now as he watched him perch up on the bar stool, all wide eyed and curious, Caleb couldn't keep the amusement from his smile._

 _There were all kinds of hunters present and this kid had no fucking inkling of his own allure. They would eat him alive…and so Caleb had chosen to ease him into the scene. Except he was walking a thin, dangerous line himself. His intentions had begun honorably; feeling moved by the realization he was the first person he'd come out to and had hoped to help him gain the confidence to step out of the shadows. Caleb knew his family would show him boundless love and support, but he'd also been trying to impart unfiltered knowledge. All the shit no amount of internet searches could prepare him for and it was there, where he found himself blurring the lines._

 _A significant age gap existed between them, but he didn't have the heart to turn him away. His apartment had become a haven for the young man. A place free of worry and judgment; and as Caleb spent more and more time with his protégé, realized the affinity ran deeper than he ever imagined. The worldly wolf enjoyed seeing the pinkish hue on his chiseled cheeks far too greatly. His modesty and inexperience were a rarity at his age. There was also Caleb's own vanity…The keen wolf was aware of his friend's growing infatuation but was doing nothing to discourage him. Quite the contrary…Caleb exuded sexuality; from every coy smile to his words. All in the name of schooling him in the art of seduction. But it was ironic, that this young man's kind, tender and understated personality was serving to be more appealing for him than the assertiveness he usually favored._

 _"So? What do you think? Anyone here catch your eye?"_

 _A pinkish hue traveled up his cheeks as he looked around the crowded establishment._

 _"Uhm…I don't know. This isn't really the way I pictured meeting someone you know?"_

 _"I hear you…but you got to start somewhere. I mean…you dance like a pro. Being here, doing something you enjoy might make it easier for you"_

 _"Has it worked for you? Do you come here a lot?"_

 _Caleb answered with a coy smile, gulping down the rest of his drink._

 _"This isn't really my scene either. Truth is I haven't had many male partners. But trust me; you won't have any problems attracting someone. Just look to your left," he signaled with his chin._

 _"That guy's been staring at you since we walked in. I bet you the only the reason he hasn't come over yet, is because he's trying to figure out if we're together. So let me know…I can make my way to other side of the bar and give you space, or we can just hang out here until you find someone you wouldn't mind speaking to"_

 _Caleb watched him carefully, smiling when he ordered them another set of drinks. He should've excused himself; placed some much needed distance between them, but it had been awhile since he'd felt this intrigued. The drinks were flowing freely, and he allowed himself to be dragged into the dance floor by his much more skilled dance partner. Caleb was well aware he'd been blessed with good genes and had grown accustomed to the looks of admiration the pack received. But as he took in his partner's lithe, muscular frame and sculpted features, knew the lustful glances, weren't all directed his way; awakening his subdued dominance._

 _A feral possessiveness brewed inside of him, driving Caleb to pull him close. His conscience was yelling at him to stop; telling him it was wrong, but the young wolf ignored reason. He was supposed to be a mentor; this kid was practically family, and it would cause unneeded conflict in his life. But it wasn't enough to stop him from leaning in. The music and moving bodies faded away as Caleb focused on a set of soft, moist lips. It was but a soft tap, but it was enough to savor his peachy, tropical taste. Wide eyes met his, prompting him to pull back, and was surprised when eager hands reached to cup his face, pulling him gently for another kiss. It was wrong but it felt so right; supple lips submissively giving in to his and…_

His body felt unpleasantly jostled, wrenching him out of his memory, half asleep half awake.

"Caleb…wake the fuck up man. We gotta move"

The sound of Tokola's stern voice prompted his loud groan; his eyes struggling to adjust in the dark.

"I'm awake but it's not even daylight yet. What time is it?"

"Time to go, mate. Kocha picked up a downwind scent… bloodsuckers. Best be on our way, eh? We can all sleep better, when we reach the clan"

Gideon's strained voice placed them on alert and Hawk was on his feet, scanning the surrounding greenery in seconds. They were on foreign land, and understood there was much to learn but were confused by Gideon's unease and Tokola was quick to voice his bewilderment.

"There's seven of us…why are we running away? We can take down a couple of leeches without breaking a sweat"

It'd been a while since they'd seen much action, and the last time they left reservation soil, Hawk had remained behind. Thoughts of his family pulled at the strings of his heart, but this was no time to indulge in nostalgia; he needed to focus on the possible threat. The feint scent of bloodsuckers was unmistakable and Hawk guessed there were many of them by the mixture of the feint stench. Cheveyo had instructed each wolf to limit their belongings to a duffel bag a piece and they swiftly scooped them up awaiting Gideon's response. Indecision marred his features as he exchanged an anxious glance with Aurel, and Hawk became acutely aware there was something important he wasn't sharing.

"We weren't just charged with picking you up mate. We have documents important to the clan. If we go after the vamps, we risk losing 'em and they're too bloody important"

The wolves exchanged glances of their own. It was a bit odd but Cheveyo and Ethan would never have sent them across such distance without trust. So, they obeyed without further complaint. They proceeded in a line, with Gideon taking point as Kosha and Tokola flanked their ends. Changing to their other forms would hamper communication, so they remained in their human skin. The stillness of the dark had an ominous feel as the creatures of the forest sensed the pending threat. And the werewolves had a swif decision to make.

The fastest way was following the trail by the lake through the mountain pass, but the leeches could corner them into a narrow space; placing them at a great disadvantage. Traveling through the forest would cost them a half day's journey but it was neutral ground. Gideon picked up his pace, hiking agilely in between the moss covered trees; choosing to burden the responsibility of his choice, as the rest of the group followed silently. The tension was tangible and Teagan leaned her weight on Caleb's shoulder playfully, hoping to lighten the mood.

"What's the score mate? All that racket yous making in your sleep… she must've been quite the trollop?"

Caleb looked around in embarrassment, worrying over what he'd shared in his sleep and was mortified by his pack brother's laughter. Tokola smiled mischievously but chose to remain silent. He'd recently patrolled with Seth's only son and had caught a glimpse of Caleb's newest infatuation. He'd used all of his control to block his thoughts and Tokola had harassed him mercilessly; eager to know whose image he'd gotten a peek of. It wasn't often Caleb kept things from the pack, so the secrecy sparked his curiosity.

Caleb shrugged her comment off and the gregarious shifter smiled knowingly, readying for a cheeky retort, but was silenced by the rumbling approaching from the south. If Teagan hadn't known better, she would've sworn it was a herd of wild horses, still known to roam the steppes. But she did know better…and the disbelief on her companions' faces mirrored her own. This was no small coven…the sound of running footsteps told a ghastly different tale. What would such a large group of vampires be doing this far out? Were they being followed? Should they run or fight? That was the million dollar question. They exchanged meaningful looks and it was Teagan's colorful words which put an end to the silent exchange.

"Well you arseholes can muck about. Run from a leech? I will in me hole"

The she-were began stripping off her clothes; an array of intricate tattoos covering the right side of her back. Tokola diverted his gaze when she caught him staring but Gideon howled out his disgust.

"Are you barking mad? This isn't about courage Teagan, it's about survival. Tamàs entrusted us with their lives and there's more at stake than your bloody pride"

A savage growl ripped through the air and Kosha stepped in between them.

"It doesn't matter. We can't bloody outrun them all and we can't very well lead them back to the clan, can we? We got no other choice but to fight."

Hawk smiled sarcastically. His family had shipped him off thousands of miles across the sea with hopes of restoring his will to live and was struck by the sheer irony of it all. Did he value his current life? It was a question he couldn't honestly answer, but he valued the life of his pack brothers'. And his own wolf's innate tenacity would refuse to yield to their mortal enemies. Hawk felt the adrenaline pump through his veins as they prepared to meet the legion of vampires descending on them. Their inner beasts relishing in the release as they took their other forms.

Communication would be limited during battle, so they huddled in a defensive line. The earth shook with the vibrations of heavy supernatural steps and Caleb's confusion mirrored his other two pack brothers. Ten vampires ran wildly though the trees; their eyes widening in surprise as they took in the seven shape shifters. Teagan was the first to break the line, agilely leaping to take one of the leeches down. Aurel leaped to her aid and yelped in agony as a set of claws ripped through his side.

It was a chaotic scene as chunks of rotten flesh flew in all directions but Hawk was growing increasingly anxious. The leeches weren't on the attack, their priority seeming on escape and it was Tokola's words which froze him in place.

 _They're not gunning for us man. They're being chased. There's something else coming this way…_

But what could be so threatening to have ten vampires on the run? The wolves ended their struggle and phased back, hoping the werewolves would follow suit. Aurel was already in his human form, clutching to his side as blood seeped out of his wound. They watched as several other stray vamps flew past them, heading towards the lake. The rumbling from the south growing louder.

"Aurel's bleeding pints. We can't stay here mate, we need to be on our way"

Kosha threw on his pair of jeans and picked up the injured werewolf from the ground, scanning his peripheries. They grabbed a few pieces of clothing in haste as Gideon looked towards the shredded rucksack.

"Most of the vamps headed into the woods. We've got a safer chance of making it through the mountain pass. We run… and we don't bloody stop until we reach past the lake"

Teagan looked towards Aurel in regret. If they'd run from the beginning, her friend wouldn't have sustained any injuries. They wasted no more time, taking off on foot. Their pursuers appeared to have taken the bait and followed the remaining vampires towards the North and the lycans and wolves quickened their pace. Kosha was the first to break through the trees, even with the weight of his injured clan brother and placed him carefully on the ground. Gideon, Tokola and Teagan followed next.

"Where's your rucksack?"

Teagan turned the werewolf forcefully, looking for any signs of his bag.

"Feck off Teagan. Did you not see me running for me life back there?"

"The deed…where's the deed?"

"I got the bloody deed in my pocket, now will you leave me be, woman? Let a bloke catch his breath"

Caleb ran out from the trees and Tokola appeared perplexed.

"Where's Hawk?"

"What do you mean where's Hawk? He was right behind you…"

A look of panic painted Tokola's features.

"FUCK…we gotta go back for him."

Gideon passed the she-were the folded-up document, following after Tokola. Hawk's acute hearing had told him they were not in the clear, as the sound of quickening strides followed. His curiosity had gotten the better of him and he'd chanced a look over his shoulder. What he'd seen stopped him dead in his tracks.

His chest heaved heavily; adrenaline and disbelief causing spasms in his breath. A black muzzle stood inches from his chest; a set of intelligent and appraising eyes staring back at him. Hawk released a deep sigh as another set of bounding strides caught his attention. She pushed her muzzle forcefully onto his chest and Hawk got the distinct impression she was warning him; urging him to leave. The young wolf's mind spiraled with unanswered questions. But took heed of the warning, turning hesitantly, but not before watching her take off at lightning speed in the dark.

Gideon and Tokola met him half way; exasperation and relief clear on his pack brother's features.

"What the fuck took you so long? I thought you were puppy chow"

"Yeah mate, isn't the time to bugger about eh?"

Hawk nodded silently, meeting Tokola's gaze with intent. The older wolf narrowed his gaze, sensing there was something he wasn't sharing but held his tongue. The werewolves were trusted allies, but Hawk wasn't clear of what he'd seen and hoped to get his pack brothers' thoughts on the matter first. Caleb had made himself useful while they waited. He'd seen his father cauterize many wounds and wasted no time in staunching Aurel's.

They continued without rest; all taking turns carrying the injured werewolf until fatigue and hunger became too great to ignore. They rested in shifts, and the two wolves eagerly volunteered to run a short distance patrol with Hawk. The mind link made it easier to explain and he didn't disappoint. Tokola and Caleb were stunned, each trying to make sense of Hawk's memories and were only able to formulate short words.

 _How…?_

 _Her eyes…_

 _I know…_ was Hawk's only response.

Too many theories, not enough facts…Each wolf had his own reasons for taking this journey, but as they ran over the last forty-eight hours, it became painfully clear nothing would remotely be as they'd imagined it to be. This couldn't have possibly been the reason they'd been sent; the werewolves' own surprise and confusion had solidified that. They needed their Alpha's counsel and decided on remaining silent until more intel could be uncovered. The wolves headed back for some much needed rest; an eerie sense of foreboding filling them all…

 **Playlist**

Love will tear us apart-Broken Social Scene

The Night We Met- Lord Huron

Welcome To the Jungle- Guns N' Roses


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Writer's block-A seemingly never-ending black hole. I don't know how else to describe it, but it feels damn good to be writing again. Anyhow…Don't know how many of you are still following this story, but I'd love to hear comments on content from any readers, given it's been some time since I posted. And truth be told, I crave feedback…**

 **If any of you have taken the time to review my playlists, then you know I'm a HUGE fan of scores and soundtracks. But I must give credit where credit is due. Listening to the wounded and raw Lykke Li greatly helped me out of my funk these last couple of months. So here it is…a shorter chapter with a glimpse of the old and the new ;)**

 **Chapter 4**

 **M Rating for adult content**

 _It was a joke, Z. Relax... What the hell's with you lately?_

The answering growl placed Ryan on alert. The voice felt eerily close, but it wasn't one he recognized.

 _Was he still dreaming?_

 _Oh…Hey, there. Welcome back, brother. Man, you went out like a light…_

Ryan's eyes opened wildly…searching out the source of the voice. Streaks of green and brown flashed before his very eyes as he struggled to gather his bearings; dazed and confused. His eyes scanned his surroundings and yet failed to focus on anything at all. His body felt heavy with fatigue and as he staggered forward, failed to come to his feet. A large dark silver paw stretched out before him and Ryan felt his chest tighten…no doubt the beginnings of a panic attack.

 _Shit, I think he's gonna pass out again…_

And then a calm, steady voice broke through the spell.

 _It's gonna be alright Ryan. Just breathe…_

The smooth baritone was laced with authority…one Ryan felt obliged to obey, though was struggling to steady his breathing.

 _Phase out Jahir…You too, Z._

Ethan inched his way closer to their newest pup cautiously; aware of Ryan's skyrocketing distress.

 _Fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…_

 _Ryan…you need to focus. Try to concentrate on your breathing._

 _Who are you? What's happening to me?_

The numerous scents and sounds were overwhelming…making it difficult to focus on anything at all.

 _Look to your left…I'm standing right next to you. My name is Ethan and I..._

 _Oh God… you're not real…you're not real…I'm hallucinating…_

Ryan tried to think back on his last lucid memory…

 _Work…Moletti…the pup…what happened to the pup?_

 _The puppy's fine…Akeimi's taking good care of him for you…_

The image of Isis's beautiful face came to his thoughts…tinged with the feeling of betrayal. Followed by indescribable rage at the mere thought of _HIS_ face. His mind must've snapped at the fury of coming face to face with him…it was the only logical explanation. Ethan stilled, knowing Paul was stubbornly making his way towards them, and released a warning growl in hopes of keeping him away. But he wasn't quick enough in reigning his thoughts and Ryan turned his massive head towards the approaching man; a morose Solace trailing closely behind.

Ryan had always been quick tempered but the rage consuming him now was unrivaled. A savage snarl echoed out, and it took him several seconds to realize the sound was arising from his being. His lupine eyes focused in on its prey. The root of all his suffering mere yards away. No lucid though taking shape in his mind, only blind fury. And so, he lunged but Solace's quick reflexes staunched his attack; phasing selflessly to take the brunt of his anger. Paul stood stunned and unsure; taken aback with his violent response. A look of hurt and regret marring his handsome features as he allowed himself to be ushered out of harm's way.

Ryan's chaotic thoughts were difficult to piece together but the raw pain welling inside him was something Solace understood all too well. Shame, loss and regret; all emotions he was intimately acquainted with, but the commiserative thought only fueled Ryan's outrage. He couldn't bare the intrusion and the more he fought to control his thoughts, the further his shameful past played out for Ethan and Solace to see. Maybe it was sheer empathy, or the knowledge he was Paul's son, but Ryan's hurt moved Solace greatly; eliciting his own vulnerability. So, he muted the pup's mind, providing him a momentary reprieve, while opening the floodgates of his own troubled memories. All in hopes of proving the pup wrong.

 _Solace…_

Ethan's tone was laced with reproach, but he shrugged the warning away.

 _He should know…_ was the remorseful wolf's only response.

His mind journeyed to the night he and Oliver phased...the helplessness it stirred…the resentment birthed at having no choice. Paul's infuriating wit…his own resistance in letting anyone in…Paul's acceptance…Jacob's unwavering support…the unparalleled feeling of belonging which was pack. And then his memories traveled even further back, and the image of Lily's young face stole Ryan's breath away. Her features shone brightly as she accepted half of Oliver's chocolate bar…feelings of comfort and affection thick in Solace's memories of their shared time in the group home…the memory of the morning their lives intertwined once again at the Organic Market…Her pretty features flushed pink at Paul's flirtatious greeting…Her laughter at the ridiculousness of Oliver's escapades during their many evenings shared in the remote cabin…The look of genuine affection in Paul's eyes as he regarded her.

But then his memories took a darker turn…Paul's inner turmoil over leaving Lily behind in search of Leah...The desolation afflicting the pack over the she-wolf's loss…Paul's melancholia…Lily's silent strength and support…A tender moment captured by the pack of the smitten wolf and Ryan's mother…The conflict raging inside Paul over the possibility of imprinting… his inability to walk away…and then mutual heartbreak over Paul's decision to leave La Push.

Ryan struggled to push the memories out of his head…not wanting to see anymore; Solace's blatant affection for Paul, tarnishing the legitimacy of his memories in the pup's eyes. But they were also painful to endure. He couldn't recall ever seeing such lightness in his mother's eyes. The memories evoked such pain and longing…picking at scabs not fully healed. Ryan felt like the orphaned kid yet again, facing an uncertain future alone.

 _Not alone, Ryan. Never alone..._

The Alpha's voice rung steady and true as he entered the mind link. But Ryan refused to accept his words. He wanted this nightmare over…wanted to erase any trace of this day away and head home…

 _But where was that exactly?_

 _We're your home now Ryan…_

 _NO…_

Cheveyo's voice softened considerably and Solace recognized the beginnings of "The Talk". So, he abandoned the mind link, allowing Ethan and Cheveyo time to do their thing. His continued presence was only causing Ryan further distress and Solace wanted desperately to check in on Paul. Guilt weighed heavy on him for his part on how this had played out. And though he knew he had an earful coming his way, it would never be enough to keep him away. So, he followed the worn trail he'd walked countless of times, thinking on how to support the man he loved and respected so deeply…

* * *

 _Her lips brushed against the tiny soles of his feet, worshiping his soft skin; desperately committing every fold and birthmark to memory. His beautiful, jubilant smile dissolving the remainder of her fragile composure. Nauja's voice quivered with an ache so deep, she struggled to spit out the words shredding her insides as they clawed up her throat. Her shaky fingers pulled his tiny hand against her cheek, pressing her nose against the palm of his perfect hand._

 _"May mother moon guard over your every step, my love. And when you feel the gentle tap of her tears on your cheek during grey skies, know that I weep with her. For you are taking my heart with you…"_

 _Aylen tugged against her grip, gently trying to remove the child from her grasp._

 _"No... I'm not ready. I need more time…please"_

 _"There is no time, Nauja. We must go…"_

 _She followed closely behind, her watery eyes tracking her son's tiny frame. Aguta welcomed his grandson onto his loving arms, gazing at his daughter forlornly._

 _"Aylen speaks the truth. We must part if I am to deliver him to safety"_

 _"Where will you take him? Please…I must know…"_

 _"It is for their protection that neither of you know. Tuari's son and your own can no longer walk the path of our people. But take comfort in knowing their fates will not be decided by Chikuk's poisoned heart"_

 _Broken, violent sobs wracked her lithe frame, and she allowed herself the comfort of Aylen's restraining arms, as she watched her father carry her son away. Nauja had lost her brother and Alpha in one day…had mourned the death of her mate…had gulped down the salt of her tears in silent strength. But none of it came close to the unbearable agony engulfing her now. She was losing her only child, and doing so willingly…_

The fierce she-wolf stood tall and proud under the sky's drizzle; working to disguise the sting the scene before her evoked. These moments of nostalgia happened less and less but witnessing Kayan's exuberance pulled her back to painful memories, best left behind.

 _He'd be a grown man by now. Did he have a family of his own?_

She prayed he was healthy and content in his life. Nauja caught Aylen's soft gaze, knowing he was one person she had no hope of fooling. They'd been to hell and back together, and few knew her as intimately as he. Her eyes wandered to Kayan, and then back to his, hoping to convey the deep affection she held for his young son. She glanced towards the woman who'd bore him life with equal fondness; an affectionate chuckle rising in her throat at the irony of it all. Things between them hadn't always been this harmonious, but they were family now…one loyal, dysfunctional family.

Nauja caught the look of worry in the she-wolf's eyes as she surveyed her son, knowing the sentiment all too well. It was warranted after all…Kayan was growing in agility and strength, displaying signs of an early phase. And the implications of that were dire, if Chikuk came to see him as a threat. But there were other worries heavy in Nauja's mind. Tikaani's mind appeared elsewhere…growing distant since returning from the hunt. Something lurked behind those stunning eyes of hers, and Nauja had a mind to corner her daughter into spilling the beans at first opportunity.

So, she allowed the wind to carry her gloomy thoughts away like so many times past; coming to stand by the woman who'd become her most trusted confidant. A distrustful foreigner on arrival…a pupil of sorts in the latter stage…and eventually, their bond surpassing jealousy and mistrust to become one of deep loyalty and admiration. Nauja echoed Leah's dotting gaze. Kayan was fearless, determined to surpass his sister in combat skill and though Tikaani's indulgence was limitless, this was one area in which she'd never give an inch. And he admired and respected her even more so for it.

"Think Kayan…"

Cheekiness laced her very word as she met her father's narrowed gaze in homage. But Aylen picked up Tayen's approaching scent and was quick to stop the impromptu sparring session, fearful of word reaching Chikuk's ears.

"That's enough for today..."

And Nauja followed his lead, knowing the danger of exposing Kayan's growing skill. Time was not on their side…if Kayan phased, he would undoubtedly be marked as a threat in Chikuks's sinister mind…if he didn't, then he'd be sent away like all the "undesirables" as Chikuk would have them be called. And that was simply not an option, because Leah would soon forfeit her life than part with her son. It'd mean the end of them, for Aylen would not idly stand by. And even though Nauja had once lived through the heartache herself, knew she'd also not allow it.

"Well isn't this the picture of familial bliss?"

Sarcasm dripped in every of the ambitious she-wolf's words, but Aylen knew indifference was best when combating Tayen's malice; greeting her with a curt nod.

"Tikaani, it's good to see you looking so energized. I was just telling Chikuk how distracted you appeared at the hunt"

Leah's eyes burned a hole in the back of Tayen's head, while she continued vindictively.

"I mean at one point, the pack lost track of you…Following a rogue vampire, right? But I don't recall finding a single cold one's remains away from the slaughter"

And Tikaani couldn't stop herself from clapping back.

"Well I still managed to bring down four. How many did you bring down, Tayen? I couldn't tell, with you lagging behind"

Aylen released an exasperated sigh over his daughter's reply.

"What Tikaani means to say, is that she's grateful you were taking point at the defensive end of the line. Didn't you Tikaani?"

His daughter's clear- colored eyes burned indignantly but she managed the composure to fake a smile of acceptance before seeing Tayen turn and go. Tikaani couldn't meet her father's gaze…she hated how submissive Chikuk had forced, or better yet, beaten him to be. Chikuk aside, he was by far their strongest and most skilled male wolf… sage in most things. But since returning, had been demoted to the lowest of positions in their ranks. All in the name of bargaining for their lives. It made her sick, and after what she'd encountered in the forest, was warring with all she believed to be true.

Aylen turned livid eyes his daughter's way and Nauja used the opportunity to grant the imprinted couple some much needed time together.

"Come Kayan, I need help skinning the boar. You can claim a flank for your efforts"

And Leah excused herself to the task of washing clothes by the river's edge, knowing Aylen would follow her trail. Thus, leaving father and daughter alone.

"Is your pride worth provoking her? You are smarter than this…you know what is at stake. Why invite more scrutiny our way?"

"My pride? What about your pride? You are a superior warrior and hunter than all his disciples combined and yet you plead for their scraps…And for what? So, we can continue enduring their ridicule? My pride is all I have left, father…"

"If that is how you truly feel, then I have failed you, Tikaani"

Aylen's eyes betrayed his deep sadness as he captured his daughter's shoulders between his hands, before turning to go.

Tikaani considered going after him, feeling wretched over her words; but reconsidered in favor of allowing his father a few stolen moments with Leah. It wasn't often they were granted idle time, but Chikuk was feeling charitable after their successful hunt. They'd only lost one she-wolf in their endeavor, over the many vampire scalps collected. An inconsequential loss in their great leader's eyes. And to sweeten the spoils, they'd returned with enough meat to feed them for several weeks. But she was growing restless, wavering on sharing what she'd witness. The prospect could turn the tides in their favor, but if wrong, she'd chance unraveling her mother and Leah's remaining peace of mind. Tikaani needed to think, to strategize with the skill her father had bestowed on her before committing to any course of action. So, she chose to run in human form. To allow the drumming of her feet against the earth to quiet out the noise of her troubled thoughts.

* * *

Aylen followed the intoxicating scent of honey, past the stream where most came to wash. A small smile gracing his lips as he proceeded down the lengthy concealed path, to their secret cave. It was these moments when he felt most unworthy of her. Crippled in his inability to change their fate, and yet inconceivably grateful she remained by his side; subjecting herself to a life of servitude and no power of choice. Even after learning the truth…Though in all honesty, how could he have kept it from her after coming face to face with Chikuk? The resemblance between their tyrant leader and her pack brother was unquestionable.

She'd contemplated escaping many times through the years; had struggled considerably in adapting to their way of life… But in the end she'd fought to earn a place by his side and acceptance among his own. And even though he lived in constant guilt over their bond and its part in her decision to remain, Aylen knew he could never bring himself to wish it otherwise. How could he? He'd dedicated his livelihood to assuring his daughter and Nauja's safety. More so now given all Aguta had shared. But Leah had returned meaning into his empty life.

Aylen inhaled deep as he entered the cave, savoring her luscious natural scent in the confinement of the secluded cave. Leah didn't need her lupine nose to alert her of his approaching steps. The small hairs rising in the back of her neck never failed to forewarn when he was near. The opportunities for intimacy were rare and few and they didn't have much time before somebody noticed their absence. So, Leah wasted no time in beginning to undress. But Aylen's calloused fingers moved to stop her; placing his lips on the back of her neck as he came to join her inside the small cove.

His nose skimmed the side of her neck longingly, refusing to rush…Who knew when they'd be granted another opportunity as this and he was determined not to squander it away. His arms pulled her body close, savoring her warmth. And Leah felt an indescribable need to seek his gaze. She'd lost herself many a time in his eyes…intimacy in its purest form…addicting as the feel of his skin against hers.

Their story was not for the faint of heart…by no means a storybook romance. The she-wolf had struggled to come to terms with her reality after arriving at camp. Outraged and disbelieving of the misogynist infrastructure imposed on them. This was no pack…the she-wolves outnumbered the wolves 3 to 1 and yet were treated like second rate citizens. Exploited… bartered like cattle and yet expected to hunt and kill for the pack. Leah had once believed she was skilled in the art of combat but had been proven foolishly wrong on arrival. The Aleut she-wolves were ruthless fighters; stripped off their humanity and broken into submission until the thirst for survival was all that remained. Warfare skill and acumen utilized as a means to gain status and privilege in the pack. Chikuk was a heartless ruler, but equally cunning and shrewd. Fostering the she-wolves' pursuit to best one another was his means of assuring discord and preventing solidarity.

She thought back to the humiliation felt after realizing she'd be forced to live under Nauja's roof; dependent on her for all things. _Her_ of all people…his confidant…the mother of his child…a seasoned warrior and respected member of the Aleut pack. Needless to say, Leah had been one royal bitch on arrival. And Nauja responded by treating her like an unruly child. But things changed after Aylen's return. Chikuk made an example of him, allowing the male wolves to beat him within an inch of his life over the betrayal. And though she and Tikaani fought to protect him, it'd been Nauja who'd ultimately saved his life; utilizing her influence with Chikuk to spare him.

Aylen was reduced to the lowest of the ranks and Leah learned a hard lesson on pride. She was a liability he couldn't afford; driving her to push ego to the side in hopes of learning the ways of his people. It was a bond forged over the love each woman held for father and daughter. In time, Leah came to see a parallel between the love Nauja held for Aylen to the love she had for one Jacob Black. It provided much needed perspective which strengthened the tentative bond of comradery between both she-wolves. So she remained…enduring maltreatment and biases from his people while painstakingly earning her place by his side.

Pack law prevented Chikuk from whoring her to another wolf, but it didn't stop him from limiting their time together. Still, they found ways to meet, making their trysts all the more passionate. Aylen was an enigma, Leah had been determined to solve. There were days she wished to have remained naïve; secluded with him in the desert away from the rest of the world. But then she might've never come to see him as the man standing before her. Leah believed she'd known love, but it'd been a watered-down version of the bond existing between them now.

She continued seeking his gaze, even when his fingers traced the outline of her breasts. Her eyes clouded with desire, but the spark of mischief in his eyes told her he was traveling down memory lane as well. It was in that same spot after all, where she'd broken the news. Nauja had confirmed her suspicions and Leah had broken down in tears over the prospect of bringing a child into such a life. Aylen's eyes had betrayed his own fear, but not enough to surpass the elation experienced at hearing her words. A child…their child…

Leah had long given up on the prospect of motherhood; unprepared for the tsunami of change it would bring to her life. Never a coward, but the prospect of motherhood had terrified her to no end.

 _Would she be good enough? Selflessness and patience had never been her virtues…_

But none of it mattered the minute she felt her child move inside her. The news of the pregnancy had been surprisingly welcomed by most; with the exception of Chikuk, of course. It wasn't often she-wolves conceived, and Leah fully understood why. The likelihood of being forced to relinquish one's child had a way of making that happen…But even the most hardened she-wolves softened at the prospect of new life in the pack. And Leah had earned her stripes among them. Under Nauja's watchful guidance, she'd battled for her place among Aylen's people.

Kayan's birth had brought on a much-welcomed change. She was allowed freedoms eluding most; time to heal and bond with her son…a hearth of her own…but more importantly, Aylen was allowed access to them both. And it was during this time, in which Leah's love transformed into so much more. The tenderness and devotion in which he cared for their son fortified her firm commitment to the quiet wolf.

She continued searching his gaze, recognizing the agonized look in Aylen's eyes. A silent apology for the life he'd given her. For all he wished he could change. And the she-wolf answered with a fierce kiss. It spoke of longing…of acceptance…and of unconditional love. She led him to the cove's edge, removing her tunic top and straddling him with unmistakable intent. They hadn't made love in some time and Leah craved for the feeling of his touch; longed for the familiarity of his body beneath hers as he entered her.

Enough time had passed since their last intimate encounter for Alyen to take notice of the subtle changes marking her naked body. Fuller breasts…glowing skin…and then he heard it…the subtle fluttering of a developing heart.

"Leah…."

His voice cracked with emotion…and she continued holding his gaze, not needing words to understand his meaning….

 _It was bad timing…Kayan could phase at any moment and the implications of that were grim…But would there ever be a good time?_

Leah was tired of feeling like she was living on borrowed time…tired of praying and hoping for change. She'd arrived a foreigner…set on resisting the ways of his people. Acclimating and surviving, yes, but never making their customs her own. It was a lie she told herself, for his people had become her people and they deserved better. If united, the she-wolves of this pack were an unstoppable force; outnumbering Chikuk's followers. They just needed a reason to believe in something more…

And Leah had found her reasons…This was _HER_ family…Aylen was _HER_ man…She'd bled to earn _HER_ place amongst the she-wolves of this pack…And she'd be damn if she continued living her life on someone else's watch. Aylen took in her steadfast gaze, recognizing the fierce look in her eyes. Leah was readying to fight. And there was no stopping the woman he loved, when she set her mind to something. Aguta had told him he'd know when the time was right to act. But was it truly the right time?

 _If not now, when, Aylen?_

The memory of Tuari's voice rung clear in his mind as if he'd whispered it himself. Aylen smiled genuinely, reaching to cradle his woman's belly in content. He didn't know what awaited around the corner, but his family couldn't afford to wait around for Chikuk's next vile act. There was simply too much at stake. So, he drew her close, meeting her fierce gaze with his own, and whispered out words Leah had longed to hear…

"We will need Kalia's support…"

* * *

"YES…YES…YES…"

He ripped open his cousin's coveted cereal bag with gusto, assuring he'd hear amid his hook-up's cries.

"Don't you fucking dare, Z…"

It came out as a strangled grunt. But Ezra could hear the threat in his words; responding by chewing on the flavored marshmallows spitefully. The continued rhythmic banging of his bedframe was obscene; clearly meaning to antagonize him further.

 _It was so on…_

It wasn't like he'd never awoken to his roommate's noisy trysts. But Ezra was in a foul mood; drowning in a sea of self-pity and misery. And listening to his best friend getting it on while he choked on unrequited love was a bit much to withstand. Or maybe it was Jahir's ability to detach emotion from sex which had him green with envy and lashing out. Either way, it was pathetically foolish to feel this way. He knew this, but it didn't make the gash in his heart hurt any less…

There'd been no warning. No goodbye…not even a courtesy "see you later". One moment, his back had welcomed the pain of the tree's jagged bark while the rest of his body hummed in pleasure at his lover's ministrations. Two days later, he was gone… He'd never implied it'd meant more than the two stolen, intimate moments shared. Nor spoken out words of undying love and devotion…So why did it feel like the worst kind of betrayal?

Ezra's eyes welled up with unshed tears, while cursing his weakness. After the initial shock and devastation, his pain had morphed into downright anger; wavering between the two ever since. Anger, for deluding himself into believing he'd meant more than the pleasure of flesh, and for his initial moment of weakness in reaching out to him for support.

 _When had admiration turned to unadulterated love? Or had it always been so? Had his infatuation led him to pursue his company under the pretense of seeking advice? Maybe…and the realization forced him deeper into the pit of self-loathing._

Ezra could almost pin-point the moment his eyes had surveyed the buoyant wolf through a new lens. And time had only served to strengthen the fervor of his feelings. He'd been pining away for him for so long, the idea his yearning could ever transform into anything but, had been inconceivable to him. And then it did…and it'd been pure bliss. But their intimate moments were now tarnished by the gaping hole he'd left behind. He wanted to hate him…wanted to curse every moment spent in his home, but knew he'd crawl back to him at first opportunity if given the chance.

 _How pathetic was that?_

The young wolf wiped his tears away as his roommate's door swung open. A disheveled leggy brunette shuffled out, mortified at a witness of her walk of shame. But Ezra was too much of a gentleman to meet her gaze, lowering his to the half-eaten cereal. His eyes narrowed at his cousin's cheeky grin…his nose crumpling in distaste at the heady scent, and wasted little time expressing his displeasure after their guest's exit.

"Put some fucking clothes on, it reeks in here"

Jahir continued unperturbed; taking a seat across their kitchen island and digging into his favorite cereal without a care in the world. But Ezra's persistent brooding had him worried, and he wasn't one to mince his words.

"Is this about Hawk? I thought you were good with this? We all miss him dude, but you know it was for the best…"

Ezra released a loud sigh…Hawk's departure had left a large void in their family, and though it pained him greatly, his cantankerous mood spun from so much more, which only added to his feelings of guilt over his pity-party.

"No. I mean yes, but not entirely…"

"So, what's up man? You've been moping around this last week…What gives?"

Ezra was so tired of hiding…so tired of relying on his inherited control to keep the pack from learning of his secret. And truth be told, Jahir should have been the first person he told. They were more like siblings than cousins, and there was little kept secret between them. Maybe it was his heightened sense of vulnerability or the great need to unburden his soul, but the young wolf chose no filter as he spit out the words he'd been keeping so hidden.

"I'm gay…"

Jahir paused mid- crunch of his fruity- flavored cereal. His eyes meeting his cousin's gaze expectantly… then curiously, as no other words followed.

"And?"

Ezra appeared lost for words, wondering if his cousin had heard him correctly.

"I just told you that I'm gay…"

"I know…but what of it?"

His mouth fell open in shock, completely stunned by the realization Jahir didn't appear in the least bit surprised by his confession.

" _YOU KNEW_?"

"Of course, I knew…"

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

His tone was laced with blatant reproach; reeling from his cousin's admission. Ironic, given it was he who'd just come out.

"I just figured it wasn't something you wanted to talk about. But I never imagined you felt you couldn't tell me…What the fuck, Z?"

Their bromance was frequently compared to that of Ethan and Sebastian's, and the look of betrayal in his best friend's eyes put Ezra to shame. It was after all a valid question, for there had never been a time when Jahir hadn't had his back. So, he struggled to come up with a plausible reply. Truth was, there wasn't one…the stigma had been self-inflicted; his fear of coming out, driven by his own plethora of self-doubt. _He_ was a direct descendant of the Alpha line, and Ezra had wondered on more than one occasion if he'd be deemed a blemish to the bloodline. Jacob Black was his grandfather after all; a great honor on most days…but it was sometimes daunting to live under his shadow.

Then there was his father…an equally great man. Solace had gifted them boundless love and support throughout their childhood. And he and his siblings hero-worshipped him for it, but Ezra couldn't bear the thought of his rejection or disapproval. Which only made the prospect of coming out, that much harder. But the sorrow engulfing him now stemmed from a different source, and Ezra couldn't find the courage to speak of his heartbreak.

Jahir took in the desolation marking his best friend's features. His cousin's eyes strained to keep the tears from falling and his indignation morphed into genuine concern.

"Z, it makes no difference to me who you choose to be with. I thought you knew me better than that?"

Ezra struggled for composure but managed a slight nod in consensus.

"I should've told you…I wanted to tell you…It should've been you…"

Jahir's eyes narrowed in confusion at his cousin's last words.

"What do you mean by that?"

But Ezra shook the question away, making light of his emotional state.

"Don't pay me no mind, man. I'm just being a cry-baby…Are you really good with this?"

Jahir walked around their kitchen table, readying for a friendly bro-hug, but Ezra was quick to move away.

"Oh, hell no…you haven't even showered"

And Jahir's clap back was swift and with equal bite.

"I always knew you had a thing for me…my body has that effect on people"

"Bitch, please. You're a walking STI…And you're not eve my type"

"What do you mean? I'm everybody's type…"

Ezra laughed with genuine glee, grateful for his best friend's humor and support. Jahir's eyes narrowed speculatively. He knew there was something else behind his friend's gloominess, but it wasn't the right moment to pry. It'd be a conversation for another day. Ezra held Solace's air-tight control, but his emotional turmoil had made him a bit sloppy, and he'd caught a glint of a memory during their last patrol. So, they continued their playful banter through the early hours of dawn, the conversation turning reproachful at the now-empty cereal bag. The heartbroken young wolf took comfort where he could, unaware an equally mournful wolf lay awake under the night's sky, haunted by the memory of his touch.

 **Playlist**

Alone-Matthew Herbert

The Story of the Swan-Rachel Portman

I never Learn-Lykke Li

Never Gonna Love Again -Lykke Li


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: What to share about this chapter? It took me a crazy long time to write, but I hope the results merit the wait. As I dive deeper into planning the outline of this story, I am now convinced it will be the longest in the series. So be patient with me as the story lines develop and unfold. PastOneonta, you asked, and I'm answering… :)**

 **Chapter 5**

The cotton t-shirt clung to his chest, soaking with perspiration. His mouth seared with thirst, his muscles aching with fatigue. But the gentle breeze caressing his cheek told him the worst had passed. Hawk's eyes squinted open against the ray of light kissing his face. His mind still groggy from the strenuous ordeal. His pack mates sat a few feet away, and the werewolves shared a look of relief at seeing him come to, filling him with instant shame. There were bits he could piece together. Moments of clearness, he'd soon rather forget. The retching…the quivering…vivid memories torturing his fragile state of mind. It should have been expected, and yet no one anticipated he'd go into withdrawal. Hawk had been self-medicating for so long, his supernatural gifts hadn't been enough to overcome his dependency.

"How bad was it?"

"It's over now…"

Tokola tried for a placating smile, a poor attempt at sparing him the embarrassment of the truth. But it only served to amplify his embarrassment. His memories were a web of images with no beginning or end. Yet the feelings they'd evoked were fresh and tangible on his tongue. His mind had clung to which was comfort and succor; childhood memories with his other half, stripping him naked of his resilience and leaving him pining for Lahote's companionship. Tokola was wrong…his long journey towards sobriety and balance had only just begun. And the prospect was unnerving.

"How long was I out?"

And it appeared Gideon held equal compassion, answering with his characteristic optimism.

"Two days, mate…but it could have been bloody worse. Teagan fixed up one of her witch brews for you. Had you sleepin like a bairn… "

Hawk nodded towards the she-were in gratitude. No trace of judgement in either of their features, moving him deeply.

"And Kosha?"

"He trailed ahead with Aurel. Tamàs will be wondering of our delay…Better he be in the know"

And Hawk was sharp enough to fill in the gaps. They had remained in the territory because of him. The situation still perilous, and Kosha and Aurel had advanced ahead to seek additional support, just in case. Bringing him to a forgotten memory. A set of piercing and clever eyes boring into his… But who was she? And how was it even possible? Learning of Jade's existence had been a piece of humble pie for the pack, and a direct contradiction to the credence of their legends. But this held more significance. He hadn't just encountered any shape-shifter, but a she-wolf. And one not from their lands. Or was she? She had the look of seasoned wolf… but how had she managed to survive rogue? Hawk's instincts told him she'd been trying to warn him off. But of whom? Were they wrong for keeping this from their allies? There were simply too many questions for his weary brain to process….

"Then we should be on our way too. Tokola's right. I'm fine…it's over"

He tried for a convincing smile. And though Gideon's eyes remained guarded, he knew they couldn't linger in unmarked territory for much longer. Prompting his nod of acceptance. They trekked through valleys of red mountain stone, clusters of peaks ahead as far as the eye could see. Hawk pushed past the sluggishness; remaining appreciative of the imposing land, seemingly unsullied by human presence. His body felt the remains of the abrupt purge and yet he couldn't recall when he'd last felt this mellow. The distance from his family hurt, but there was respite in the separation. No one to pretend for…no guilt over the disappointment in their gaze. There was no bullshitting anyone here, for they'd seen him at his worst. There was freedom in the raw truth…

A shrill call from the sky stole the meditative wolf's attention and Hawk paid homage to his namesake. The keen-eyed predator circled the heavens commandingly, plummeting for a closer look and reminding him of his own sharp-eyed nature as he took stock of his companions. Gideon's expression exposed the weight of his responsibility. What a long way he'd come from the carefree kid he'd met so long ago. His fingers played with the end of Maya's sealed letter, placing a small smile on Hawk's lips. His eyes shifted towards his older pack mate… amusement at seeing how things never change, even amid dicey circumstances. Tokola was shamelessly trying his hand in charming their female companion and the she-were didn't appear in the least impressed.

They sustained a brisk pace under the merciless sun, each lost to their thoughts. The fading scent of the two werewolves traveling ahead seemingly mollified their young leader. And all were grateful when Gideon proposed they rest up for the night. The heavens glowed with a brilliant reddish hue as the sun made its ritualistic descent. And Hawk admired the efficiency and speed of the werewolves, as they worked in tandem to hunt and prepare their night's meal. Every La Push wolf had struggled at some point with balancing life and the obligations of the pack. But as he took stock of how in tuned the werewolves were with the wildlife and their surroundings, Hawk became acutely aware of the luxuries they'd been granted.

They gathered around the crackling fire in silence, his eyes tracking the embers disappearing into the night. And the introspective mood served to surge his curiosity, though he realized his insensitive mistake after the question had been asked. Turning wolf was both a blessing and a curse. Though each understood the honor bestowed. It quickly dawned on Hawk, a lycan's transformation was neither birthed out of ancestry nor purpose. And asking them to recount how they'd been turned was like asking someone to relive a traumatic event, much like his own.

"Sorry, that was stupid of me…"

But Gideon's light shoulder shrug told him he hadn't taken offense.

"Don't get your knickers in a knot…I'm a curious bloke myself. Though I don't bloody remember much. I was out on the piss with a mate, plastered after leaving the pub. Heard strange noises coming from the woods near my home. And like a bleeding wanker, I took a gander. Same night Ethan first met our kind…Bad timing was all. Aurel took pity on me and brought me to Tamàs. Probably saved both of our lives, eh…"

The wolves exchanged knowing glances, understanding the gist. No werewolf had been spared that night. And Hawk was astounded by how interwoven their fates had all been. Gideon recognized the apologetic look in their eyes, quickly moving to absolve them from blame.

"It isn't all bad, mates. For me, the worse was learning I couldn't see my family again… I was gutted"

Gideon searched Hawk's eyes, and the intuitive wolf couldn't hold his gaze. Fully aware he was alluding to his current situation. Caleb had been uncharacteristically quiet since their unforeseen scuffle in the woods, but his interest got the better of him.

"Well what's stopping you now? I mean, you have the freedom to change at will"

"I've seen me mum from a distance. But she could never accept what I have become. It be best, I keep my distance…"

Hawk disagreed but thought better of sharing his thoughts aloud. Four sets of expectant eyes shifted towards their female companion, and the she-were snickered indignantly.

"Sod off…you won't get a whinge out of me. I'd soon run a patrol then listen to this rubbish…"

Teagan took off without another word and Tokola followed closely behind. Her disparaging words lost to the wind as he continued trailing after her.

"Feisty, that one…but don't take offense mates. Teagan doesn't trust easily. But when she does, she's loyal to the end"

"What happened to her?"

Caleb's tone betrayed his genuine interest, but Gideon was reluctant to share.

"It isn't my tale to tell. And I don't know about you chaps, but I'm knackered…time for some kip"

The jolly werewolf rested his back on the ground floor, hoping to sleep off the stress of the last few days. He felt honored by Tamàs's faith in him, knowing all he'd entrusted on his shoulders. Hawk's current misfortune was no light matter, but Gideon couldn't keep the excitement from brewing at the pit of his stomach at what his presence could mean for the clan. So, he forced his eyes closed, drifting off to thoughts of a new beginning.

Hawk contemplated his pack brother's sullen mood from across the fire. He hadn't said more than two words to him all day and was beginning to suspect he resented him for their current state. But what the insecure wolf didn't realize, was that Caleb couldn't look at him without finding traces of the face he'd hoped to escape. He was everywhere…in the taste of the now eaten ripe peach…in Hawk's high dimpled cheeks and beguiling smile…in Gideon's jovial and carefree persona. He was everywhere and yet nowhere Caleb could reach for.

 _When had his feelings gotten away from him?_

He'd been a little brother of sorts…a close family friend…a pack brother, and a conjurer of unbridled emotion from a simple, inexperienced touch. Caleb knew he'd been treading the line of infatuation but was now painfully cognizant he'd gone past the cusp.

 _Ezra…with his flawless face and trusting eyes. Eyes which stripped him of coherent thought and incited a longing deep in his bones. He was so beautiful in his innocence…an innocence which he'd selfishly tainted and deflowered. Would he hate him for leaving so abruptly? Of course, he would. But it was better this way, for both._

Ezra would undoubtedly get over his misplaced crush and find someone his own age to be with. The thought depressed him greatly and filled him with downright jealousy.

"Caleb, you haven't said much all day. Is everything OK?"

The contrition in Hawk's voice startled him, and the forlorn wolf realized his pack brother was erroneously blaming himself over his withdrawn state.

"Yeah, I'm good man. Just trying to take it all in. A lot's gone down in the last couple of days"

He put forth his best smile, hoping to keep the guilt from his features. Caleb felt isolated in his inability to share but took small comfort in knowing he wasn't alone. Tokola and Hawk were equally seeking distance from La Push. Except Caleb was rethinking his choice with each passing minute. Not out of fear, or lack of support for his pack brother. But out of his own ignorance in how deep his feelings ran.

Hawk felt appeased by his pack brother's words, glancing towards the sleeping werewolf meaningfully before nodding in agreement. And Caleb understood, choosing to sign his next words.

 _Do you really think we're doing the right thing by keeping this from them? What makes you think they haven't encountered her previously?_

 _I'm not sure of anything. But I want to see what Cheveyo has to say on the matter first._

 _It may be a while before we can communicate with the pack. We should reconsider if we come across her scent again._

Caleb's face reflected his concern as a worrisome realization came to mind.

 _Don't you think it's strange we can't mind link with the rest of the pack? Ethan was able to on his first trip to Europe._

The thought had crossed his mind, but the practical wolf had blamed it on the lengthier distance. Though now he wasn't so sure…

 _I do…and I feel bad for being so distrustful. But even more stupid for not taking the time to ask what our purpose here was._

 _You…? What about me? I jumped like a good little dog._

 _Why, Caleb? Why did you really volunteer to come on this trip?_

And the remorseful wolf couldn't meet his gaze, focusing on the crackling fire.

 _I told you. I was seeking a change…_

A troubling thought had been plaguing him since witnessing Hawk's memory. But he'd been cautious in bringing it up. Though now, he was desperate to veer the conversation elsewhere, prompting the observation.

 _I know you think she was trying to warn you. But the way she looked at you when she approached…it was almost like she knew you._

 _That's impossible…she was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her._

 _Maybe…but there was something weird about the way she looked at you._

Conversation ceased as their pack brother's scent neared, a sly smile hanging on his lips. And Caleb couldn't keep himself from goading the older wolf.

"Epic fail huh…"

"It's only a matter of time…"

Long black hair and a pair of shapely copper thighs came to Hawk's mind, surprising the introspective wolf. His nameless siren had sneaked into his thoughts on more than one occasion. A missed opportunity he'd never get back. He pushed the thought away, along with all the other things he'd walked away from. He smiled at his pack brothers' banter, feeling strangely optimistic. There was much they didn't understand…much to be wary of. But even amid the unknown, Hawk could feel the rising of something he believed lost. Something close to purpose…

* * *

 **Paul**

 _Hasty or too late..._

The words diminished all they'd shared, but they were true. They encapsulated the ill-fated relationship with the mother of his child. A forbidden fruit he'd selfishly pursued and foolishly walked away from.

 _If he'd only chosen to stay? Was that what drove her to keep him from the truth? Lily…with her sad disarming gaze, cutting straight into his soul…_

It's not that simple, she'd said. And he'd battled with himself to not reach out and caress her warm lips…to negate her words…to make promises he knew he could not keep. To erase any trace of duty she thought she owed the piece of shit she called husband.

 _It should have been him…_

But he also knew it was his fault for leaving. Not once…but twice. Her sorrowful eyes at his choosing to leave haunted his dreams, still. He'd failed her, and in turn he'd failed his own flesh and blood. The look of hate in his boy's eyes hurt more than he understood. It went beyond pack bonds. He hadn't realized how tightly he'd been clinging to hope after learning the truth. And, unquestionably unprepared for the devastation Ryan's memories unleashed.

He sat in stillness, allowing his tears to ebb the intensity of his hurt. Inclined, and yet unable to muster the strength to order Solace away. He stood against the side of his front door, stunned silent by his tears. It took Paul back to another heart wrenching day. Leah's lithe body at his front door, battling to come up with words which would somehow make her choice of leaving less ruthless. Except it hadn't… her silence and uncertainty had only served to wound him further. He didn't hold the bandwidth to think on that today, rousing him to address the wolf at his front door.

"Say what you came to say or leave…"

"I'm sorry Paul…"

Solace was close to tears himself, and Paul replied in his usual cutting demeanor. The younger wolf felt appeased by his hostility. It was to be expected after all. Solace could bear anything...anything but his indifference. He took an adjacent seat, readying to confess what he should have sooner. He'd make no excuses, but focus on the little he knew.

"Isis ran into him a couple of weeks back near the diner. She didn't get a chance to ask much…he took off before she could. But then she saw him again at Akeimi's school"

"Why didn't you tell me after the first time?"

"I tried to, the day I came unannounced. But…"

"You punked out…"

"Yeah..."

Paul leveled him with a frosty glare; the weight of his disapproval, difficult to withstand. He'd never known a father but imagined it's what his children experienced at his own show of displeasure.

"He's done some time, Paul…Isis says he's been staying at the halfway house"

The silence lingered, and Solace was surprised by the older wolf's next words.

"He hates me…"

And this was something Solace could help clarify, understanding Ryan all too well.

"No…he's determined to blame you for every bad choice he's made and for your not being around. He thinks you used Lily..."

"I did use Lily"

"You loved Lily…"

Solace's tone was angry, refusing to allow his friend down a path of self-blame.

"Yeah, but I still used her, didn't I? She'd moved on… but I couldn't see past my own pain after Leah. I should have stayed far away from her"

"That's not what she wanted...and you can't undo what's already been done, Paul. What matters is the now. You got a kid, man…Half you, half, Lily. But seeing how he reacted, I'd say he's more you than her"

Solace couldn't keep the emotion from his voice. Fatherhood had altered his perspective on life, while healing many of his juvenile wounds. He'd been certain no love could ever compare to the one he held for Isis…until his children were born. And he wanted that for Paul and was equally convinced Ryan could benefit from having him in his life, much like he and Oliver had.

"I'm not cut out for this shit. How can I even begin trying to be a father to this kid?"

"What are you talking about? You were more of a father to me and Oliver than anyone else I know"

"Maybe…but you didn't blame me for your mother's death"

"Then change his mind, Paul"

"How?"

"By not giving up. I hated your arrogant ass when we first joined the pack. I thought you were a phony, just like Ryan does. But you wore my ass down…you didn't turn your back on me when I was at my worst. So, don't let him push you away, no matter what he says or does. He needs you, even if he doesn't want to admit it"

Paul ingested his words.

 _He'd been in jail. He knew so little of him... How much suffering had this kid endured?_

The thought infuriated him; his ignorance only fueling the helplessness taking hold, driving him to his feet.

 _Fuck this…He'd never been one to sit around and mope and wasn't about to start now._

"Where are you going?"

Paul didn't have the answers he needed. But it occurred to him, someone in proximity might.

"I need you to come with me, in case I lose my shit…"

"Well that sounds promising… where are we going?"

"To town. I just got the urge for some organic fruit…"

* * *

Patience had never been his greatest virtue. Though oddly enough, the meticulous task of lining his father's dominos for the purpose of witnessing them topple over, had once felt worth the effort. His youthful eyes had tracked them across his family's living room in awe…each piece falling with purpose onto the next. A single act triggering a long chain of events. The concept had once fascinated him.

 _And wasn't this the same?_

One choice made so long ago, serving as a catalyst for so much. But as he took in the hopelessness marking their newest wolf's face, Jacob Black could only allow himself remorse for the startling chain reaction. So much chaos unleashed from his decision in granting Leah choice. And as regretful as he was over the unfortunate events taking place since, deep in his bones, the old Alpha knew it'd been the right choice. But right for whom?

Jacob's eyes charted Ryan's features affectionately. He was all Paul, enhanced by Lily's kind and captivating eyes. And outside of pack bonds, Jacob felt like he'd encountered a new member of his family. Because it was undoubtedly what he was. He and Paul had a complicated relationship. But they'd endured much together…their bond evolving with the test of time. It wasn't just loyalty binding them now, though both would be swift to dismiss the claim…

The original wolves were few now. They'd lost Sam a few seasons back, and Jacob's heart grew weary in witnessing Quil's aging; triggering even more appreciation for those he cared so deeply about. The old Alpha always did have a hard time letting go. But he knew the season for him, Seth, Embry and Paul to take their leave from La Push, was nearing. Their youthful appearance was a liability they could not afford and were growing confined in their inability to wander freely through the Reservation. Soon, he told himself, but not just yet.

Jacob was growing restless…Billy had visited his dreams with increasing frequency and he was convinced something ominous headed their way. But there was something else keeping the old Alpha rooted in place. A surge of dominance lurked among the pack and Jacob suspected Cheveyo's reign could very well be challenged. It had the potential for a catastrophic end, solidifying his resolve to remain close until proven otherwise. And in the meantime, Jacob would do what he did best; stick his nose in the pack's affairs. A liberty and well-earned right he'd no intention of relinquishing.

"Here…eat this. I promise you'll feel better…"

He gave his brightest, toothy smile and Ryan found it hard to resist the charismatic man now seated at his side. His stomach complained with a queasy growl, but this was the Jacob Black. A well-respected man, if not the most respected man, in La Push. It'd been hard for Ryan to refuse him at 10 years of age, when he'd been angry at his mother and the world; let alone now when he understood his true purpose and place among their people. He wondered if he remembered him from so long ago and was immediately embarrassed, he'd considered the thought.

 _Of course, he didn't…he'd been one of countless orphaned faces staring up at him in admiration._

But Ryan would never forget. It'd been the first Christmas after his mother's death and Maddie and Lou had been unsuccessful in trying to acquire custody of him before the holidays. Jacob Black had visited the group home with gifts to spare. The excitement had been palpable, but Ryan had stood listlessly to the side, fully surprised when he'd sought him out near the end of his visit.

 _What's the matter? Don't you want anything for Christmas?_

Ryan had felt a startling anger at the question.

 _My mother, alive…can you give me that?_ It's what he truly had wanted to ask but refrained out of sheer fear and respect. So, he'd spouted off the first thing which had come to mind.

 _Boxing gloves…_

 _Boxing gloves? Well that's a first…why do you want them?_

And Ryan had answered honestly; surprised by how willingly he'd confided his plans of training with Lou once the custody papers came through. Jacob Black had answered with a strange smile. But Ryan would never forget the hope he'd felt at waking up and finding the red boxing gloves near his pillow the next day. It had felt symbolic, like his luck was finally turning. But what Ryan hadn't realized was that Jacob had put the pieces together the minute he'd mentioned Lou's name. He'd known Lily had mothered a child and had used all his composure to not display his horror at the realization. Jacob had gone to the counsel the next day, guilt-ridden, over Lily's fate. He'd been determined to advocate on Ryan's behalf in granting the elder couple custody and continued following his boxing achievements from a distance.

 _How had he missed the resemblances in appearance? How could he have confused the affinity felt towards the kid and not see him for whom he really was? A rightful member of the pack…_

These were questions eating at his piece of mind. But Jacob had long learned to face his mistakes head on and not obsess on the "what ifs". Leah had chosen to leave, and Seth and Embry followed…Paul chose to lean on Lily for support and Ryan was conceived out of that genuine bond. All consequential and irreversible…All triggered out of his one choice. Jacob had also learned the power of making amends; no matter how daunting the task, and chose to leave Ryan with some choice words.

"I thought about apologizing to you for not recognizing the resemblance that day at the group home. But then I remembered your fight at the Junior Championships and how proud you and Lou looked. I wonder if that moment would've taken place had I realized you were Paul's son. How different both your lives might've been? But then I also remembered how nothing good comes from living in the past. You have every right to be pissed…but you also have a choice to make, son. I don't pretend to understand why your mother remained silent, but the love Paul felt for Lily was as real as the love she held for him. Don't ask me why, he's a total pain in the ass…"

Jacob tried for a small smile before continuing…

"But Ryan…don't you owe it to yourself to find out why?"

He parted without another word, leaving the newly phased wolf obsessing over his words. Ryan was a conflicted man…there was so much he didn't trust and yet he couldn't deny how effected he felt by his words. And the fact he'd remembered him from so long ago and had taken the time to see him fight, left him feeling all kinds of raw. Ryan had been dead set on rejecting their seductive words of brotherhood and allegiance…Ethan's mumbo jumbo about belonging and family. But he wasn't so sure anymore.

Open access into their thoughts made it harder to refute their words and they'd all seemed sincere enough. Cheveyo had assured him his primary interest as Alpha was in helping him acclimate to life as a wolf, with no other ulterior motive.

 _A WOLF…_

It was hard for him to still wrap his mind around the concept. The life he'd known was over. Or at least the life he'd hoped to build for himself. After acquiring an early release, Ryan had made a vow to keep his head down, his nose clean and to cut all ties with his past, with the exception of Gabriel, Maddie and Lou. He'd had a mind to complete his parole, save money and get the hell out of town. Well that plan was now a wash…Ethan had said they were tied to the land with no expiration date in sight. And it was one more thing to thank his sperm donor for.

In fact, if it wasn't for all the cool superhero powers, Ryan would be inclined to say he'd traded one cage for another. He would be forced to interact with him without choice, though Cheveyo hadn't denied his request to keep their interactions at a minimum. But then again, Ethan had mentioned something about patrols when he was deemed ready.

 _How would this all work exactly? Work…patrols and parole…_

The memory of icy green eyes froze him in place and Ryan felt his heart falter.

 _Moletti…_

He'd missed curfew and now Moletti would have the ammunition needed to ship him back to prison. Ryan jumped to his feet, eager to contact his PO, but Cheveyo's steady hand stopped him mid-stride.

"Ryan, you don't have the control to be around humans yet. Until then, I can't let you out of my sight"

"You don't understand. I can't stay here…I have to see my parole officer"

"Alex Ateara serves as legal counsel for the pack. My dad has already contacted her and she is in the process of notifying the proper channels of your new appointment"

"They know about the pack?"

"No, of course not"

"Then what new appointment?"

"We have covers for situations like these. The Tribe Council will sign off on paperwork stating you've been hired for security duty and that you'll be offered quarters near the Tribal Center. But it isn't just for show…each eligible wolf is given a small stipend to balance out the time spent on patrols. You won't be able to work for some time, Ryan…at least not until you have full control of your phasing. And that is usually influenced by each wolf's temperament"

Cheveyo finished with a knowing smile, his voice lowering to a whisper.

"Regardless, you also have some admirers, desperately waiting to check in on you. I'll be standing right over there if you need me. But just in case…keep your distance"

Ryan's nostrils flared as a whiff of rich vanilla and cinnamon reached his nose.

"Pssst…Wyan. Wyan, it's us…"

The newly phased wolf couldn't keep the smile from his lips as he spotted the two young girls rounding the edge of the house stealthily from his periphery. A small fur ball sticking out of J.J.'s purple hoodie.

"Don't come any closer, it's not safe," he whispered back. Both girls stiffening in surprise.

"We're not scared of you. My daddy's a bigger wolf and he's meaner…"

J.J.'s sassy tone added to his amusement, but not enough to forgo Cheveyo's warning.

"Maybe, but I don't have the control the other wolves do yet. So please stay where you are"

"You won't hurt us, Wyan…I know you won't"

The faith in Akeimi's voice was heartening, reminiscent of another trusting girl from his distant past. And Ryan turned to smile at the girl with the entrancing eyes. But the pup sprung from J.J.'s grasp, making a run towards the woods. His grand escape halted by a lean, muscular figure, emerging from the nearby tree line. Lahote had come in search of his precious peanut, choosing to travel through the woods, seeking refuge from the unease engulfing him the last few days. They'd received confirmation of the plane's arrival, but no other word since.

Yet, the silence and distance had no bearing on their bond. Hawk's distress was his own, pushing him to battle for enough balance for them both. Lahote worried incessantly but was coming to understand it was a journey his brother needed to walk on his own. Though he was set to hop on the first plane to Kazakhstan at his brother's request. But he prayed for a different type of outcome, one in which he was present to witness the birth of his second child and his family was whole once again.

"Gwab him daddy…he's twying to get away…"

Lahote scooped the tiny pup with one hand, smiling dotingly at his daughter's anxious command. Shye liked to claim Akeimi held his rebellious impertinence, but that girl was as stubborn and bossy as his wife. Though he was wise enough to keep the thought to himself.

"And who might this be?"

"We haven't found a name for him yet, but Ryan said we could name him…"

"Wyan said I could keep him daddy…Can I? Can I, pwease?"

Lahote chuckled good-naturedly, eyeing his newest pack brother questioningly.

"He needs a home. I found him on the street and I didn't think I could look after him. Maybe now…"

Ryan was stopped short by J.J.'s glare of betrayal, feeling obliged to backtrack his words.

"He would be better cared for by a family…Isis said you might be inclined to take him"

Akeimi's eyes sparkled in mischief. Her father's narrowing at the scent of his newest pack brother's white lie, but knew his daughter had an uncanny talent for charming even the mightiest of foes. Having been subjected to the power of her spell, on the daily.

"How about this peanut…why don't you give the puppy back to Ryan for safe keeping until you and I have an opportunity to convince your mom?"

"But I want to take him home today, daddy…"

The pleading tone in her voice made Ryan want to intercede on her behalf but had enough sense to remain quiet.

"I can't do that baby. Please take him over to Ryan and say goodbye for the night. You guys can come play with him tomorrow"

Akeimi's bottom lip jutted out in disappointment as she cradled the wolf- like puppy in her small arms. Ryan quickened to stand, wavering; wanting to meet her half way to ease her disappointment. His eyes searched Lahote's for any signs of disapproval before kneeling on the ground floor before her to await patiently.

"Thank you for taking such good care of him when I couldn't, Akeimi. Don't be sad...your dad isn't saying no. Just not right now…"

Her smoky- grey eyes glistened with unshed tears before rising to meet his. And Ryan became lost in the swirls of onyx- black swimming in a sea of grey. Nothing made sense anymore …nothing except her. There was a burning deep in his soul, a strange calmness infiltrating his every nerve. Akeimi smiled widely but Ryan couldn't bring himself to formulate a coherent thought. His hands trembled, and her tiny hand was ripped from his grasp. Anger replaced the tranquility experienced moments prior. Argument ensued around him and then chaos…

 **Playlist**

Night In the Draw- Balmorhea

Gunshot-Lykkie Li

Place to Be- Drake

Bandito-Twenty-one pilots

My Blood- Twenty- one pilots

Geometría del Universo- Colleen


End file.
